{"id":65909,"date":"2023-04-28T20:55:26","date_gmt":"2023-04-28T18:55:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/"},"modified":"2026-05-05T07:55:28","modified_gmt":"2026-05-05T05:55:28","slug":"die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/","title":{"rendered":"The four horsemen of the apocalypse in a couple&#8217;s relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span data-tcb-events=\"\"><img alt='Standard Blog-Post' src='https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6a4c6b6669af197cf3ed4086bb9bc3968c59737b7f53282f91990b1d0adc7740?s=256&#038;d=https%3A%2F%2Fb3247eyo-a.myrdbx.io%2Fwp-content%2Fplugins%2Fthrive-visual-editor%2Feditor%2Fcss%2Fimages%2Fauthor_image.png&#038;r=g' srcset='https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6a4c6b6669af197cf3ed4086bb9bc3968c59737b7f53282f91990b1d0adc7740?s=512&#038;d=https%3A%2F%2Fb3247eyo-a.myrdbx.io%2Fwp-content%2Fplugins%2Fthrive-visual-editor%2Feditor%2Fcss%2Fimages%2Fauthor_image.png&#038;r=g 2x' class='avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo avatar avatar-256 photo tve_image' height='256' width='256'  data-d-f=\"author\" title=\"Standard Blog-Post\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" fetchpriority='high' decoding='async'\/><\/span><span data-shortcode=\"tcb_post_author_name\" data-shortcode-name=\"Author name\" data-extra_key=\"\" data-attr-link=\"1\" data-attr-target=\"0\" data-attr-rel=\"0\" data-option-inline=\"1\" data-attr-static-link=\"{&quot;className&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/author\/jgastner\/&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Dr. Judith Gastner&quot;,&quot;data-css&quot;:&quot;tve-u-192dfdd388b&quot;,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-attr-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388b\" style=\"text-decoration: none;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/author\/jgastner\/\" title=\"Dr. Judith Gastner\">Dr. Judith Gastner<\/a><\/span><span style=\"\">Paartherapeutin und Psychotherapeutin<\/span><span style=\"\">Category:<\/span><span data-attr-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3881\" data-attr-link=\"1\" data-attr-rel=\"0\" data-attr-static-link=\"{&quot;className&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/category\/beziehung-partnerschaft\/&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Relationship &amp; Partnership&quot;,&quot;data-css&quot;:&quot;tve-u-192dfdd3881&quot;,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-attr-target=\"0\" data-extra_key=\"\" data-option-inline=\"1\" data-shortcode=\"tcb_post_categories\" data-shortcode-name=\"List of categories\" style=\"\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/category\/beziehung-partnerschaft\/\" title=\"Relationship &amp; Partnership\">Relationship &amp; Partnership<\/a><\/span><span>Article last updated on <span data-attr-date-format=\"j. 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Dezember 2025 <\/span><\/span><strong><span style=\"\">Quality assurance<\/span><\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/prof-dr-ludwig-schindler\/\" style=\"outline: none;\"><span>Prof. Dr. Dr. Ludwig Schindler<\/span><\/a><span style=\"\">Share this article \ud83d\udc47\ud83c\udffb<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/wa.me\/?text=https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a href=\"mailto:?subject=Die vier apokalyptischen Reiter einer Paarbeziehung&amp;body=Ich habe diesen interessanten Artikel gefunden: https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/t.me\/share\/url?url=https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/&amp;text=Ich habe diesen interessanten Artikel gefunden:\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/&amp;text=Ich habe diesen interessanten Artikel gefunden:\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a href=\"#\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a>[tcb-script]document.addEventListener(&#8220;DOMContentLoaded&#8221;, function() {    const copyLinks = document.querySelectorAll(&#8220;.copy-link&#8221;);    copyLinks.forEach(link =&gt; {        link.addEventListener(&#8220;click&#8221;, function(event) {            event.preventDefault();            const textToCopy = &#8220;https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/&#8221;;            navigator.clipboard.writeText(textToCopy).then(function() {                alert(&#8220;Link wurde in die Zwischenablage kopiert!&#8221;);            }).catch(function(error) {                alert(&#8220;Fehler beim Kopieren des Links: &#8221; + error);            });        });    });});[\/tcb-script]<span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Sketch of a knight on horseback running with a lance towards a woman sitting on the ground\" data-id=\"59388\" data-init-width=\"800\" data-init-height=\"260\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Artikel-Header-Vier-apokalyptische-Reiter-Paartherapie.jpg\" data-width=\"734\" data-height=\"238\" width=\"734\" height=\"238\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 800 \/ 260;\" title=\"Overview Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Couple Therapy\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em><em>We should do everything we can to ensure that they consistently gallop past us in the future: the four horsemen of the apocalypse in a relationship, which, according to John Gottman, the well-known American couples therapist, devastate every love.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"59982\" width=\"30\" data-init-width=\"150\" height=\"30\" data-init-height=\"150\" title=\"PaarBalance Divider Icon\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/PaarBalance-Divider-Icon.png\" data-width=\"30\" data-height=\"30\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 150 \/ 150;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><strong>\u261d\ud83c\udffb Quick Start: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in a Relationship<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\"><strong><strong>Criticism is poison for relationships<\/strong> :<\/strong> When criticism becomes consistently personal and destructive instead of constructive, the relationship begins to erode.<a href=\"#tve-jump-1928b20e8a9\" style=\"outline: none;\"> You can find out how to express criticism correctly here<\/a> . \u2193<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\"><strong><strong>Contempt leads to escalation<\/strong> :<\/strong> Contempt is one of the most dangerous patterns in a relationship. Derogatory comments and ridicule create deep emotional wounds and often lead to insurmountable conflicts.<a href=\"#tve-jump-1928b22a171\" style=\"outline: none;\"> Here&#8217;s how to avoid this.<\/a> \u2193<a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_new\" style=\"outline: none;\"><br \/><\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\"><strong><strong>Walls \u2013 emotional withdrawal<\/strong> :<\/strong> When one partner shuts down emotionally, refuses to talk, and seeks distance, resolving conflicts becomes difficult.<a href=\"#tve-jump-1928b21fef8\" style=\"outline: none;\"> Find out here how to deal with this lack of communication.<\/a> \u2193<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"59982\" width=\"30\" data-init-width=\"150\" height=\"30\" data-init-height=\"150\" title=\"PaarBalance Divider Icon\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/PaarBalance-Divider-Icon.png\" data-width=\"30\" data-height=\"30\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 150 \/ 150;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>What memories surface when you think back to the first weeks and months with your partner?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Everything seemed perfect, and your relationship was characterized by love, closeness, security, mutual support, exciting eroticism, goodwill, respect, patience&#8230; And then?<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, many couples experience their relationship changing over time. The tone becomes harsher. The atmosphere cooler. Intimacy and security diminish. Arguments increase. Sexuality fades. Neither partner feels truly seen, valued, or loved by the other anymore.<\/p>\n<p>This article will tell you the most important things about <strong>four behavioral patterns that are particularly damaging to romantic relationships<\/strong> and make a later breakup likely. They were identified by the couples therapist, psychologist, and scientist John Gottman, who extensively studied the interaction dynamics between partners. He referred to these toxic patterns as &#8221; <strong>the four horsemen of the apocalypse of romantic relationships<\/strong> .&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"\">You can find out what these are and how you can counteract them here.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\ud83d\ude80 Already <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">65,511 people<\/span> have gained clarity through the test.<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"t-1737411642078\"><strong>How is <em>your<\/em> relationship going right now?<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p style=\"\"><strong>How do you treat each other?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><strong>Take the test! (scientifically sound &amp; free)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Perhaps you are currently experiencing such a change and, after many arguments and conflicts, are asking yourself:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\">&#8220;Do we still love each other?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\">&#8220;Do we want to continue like this for much longer?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Do we have a real chance that things will be carefree and beautiful between us again?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Feel free to use the scientifically based CoupleBalance relationship test (duration approx. 10 minutes) to gain a comprehensive overview of how you interact with each other as a couple.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Immediately afterwards you will receive your individual strengths and weaknesses profile (free of charge and without obligation) as well as concrete recommendations on how to successfully resolve personal problem areas and significantly expand existing resources.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Take your relationship test now! (free)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>How is your relationship? <br \/>What are your strengths and weaknesses?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Flyer from PaarBalance Online Coaching with personal relationship profile for relationship problems\" data-id=\"53041\" data-init-width=\"1000\" data-init-height=\"1000\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/beziehungsprofil.webp\" data-width=\"212\" data-height=\"212\" width=\"212\" height=\"212\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 1000 \/ 1000;\" title=\"Relationship profile Relationship test\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>You will find out immediately afterwards in your personal PaarBalance relationship profile (free).<\/p>\n<p><strong>Start your relationship test now!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"\">\u2713 Scientifically sound <br \/>\u2713 Includes detailed analysis <br \/>\u2713 Your data will not be shared <br \/>\u2713 100% free &amp; non-binding<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">100% secure. We comply with data protection regulations. Registration for the relationship test is <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">free<\/span> . <br \/>Please read this important information beforehand: <br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/datenschutzerklaerung\/\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"outline: none;\">Data Protection<\/a> &nbsp;\u1427 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/agb\/\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"outline: none;\">Terms and Conditions<\/a> &nbsp;\u1427 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/allgemeine-informationsvertragsbedingungen\/\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"outline: none;\">General Information Agreement Terms and Conditions<\/a> &nbsp;. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Transparenzerklaerung.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"outline: none;\">Transparency Statement<\/a><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"t-1737411642079\"><strong>Why do relationships so often &#8220;go downhill&#8221;? &#8211; Here&#8217;s the answer from relationship research.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Almost <em>every<\/em> couple desires a loving and relaxed relationship. Nobody wants to live permanently in a tense or frosty atmosphere.<\/p>\n<p>Why then do so many couples eventually reach a point where they are no longer friendly to each other and are increasingly unhappy?<\/p>\n<p>John Gottman, an American psychologist, scientist, and author born in 1942, wanted to better understand the emotional world of couples. To this end, he conducted numerous studies, including investigations into the relationship between&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>the <strong>interaction dynamics<\/strong> between the partners,<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>the relationship satisfaction<\/strong> experienced by the couple and<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>the subsequent <strong>separation rate<\/strong> .<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>He was able to identify four behavioral patterns that cause particularly lasting damage to couples and make a later breakup likely. Gottman calls them &#8221; <em>the four horsemen of the apocalypse of relationships<\/em> &#8220;.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1694117205017\">Harbingers of impending doom<\/h3>\n<p>Gottman chose the name &#8220;Apocalyptic Horsemen&#8221; in reference to the <em>Book of Revelation<\/em> , the last book of the New Testament. There, the apocalyptic horsemen are messengers who announce the end of the world. Similar to the biblical prophecy, the apocalyptic horsemen of the couple&#8217;s relationship are aptly named: their name says it all.<\/p>\n<p><strong>When they become commonplace in relationships &#8211; while at the same time the affected couples lose their sense of &#8220;good manners&#8221; &#8211; they can mean the end and downfall of love.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>They creep in over time, become a habit, and reveal their destructive potential, especially in conflict situations.<\/p>\n<p>On the one hand, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ensure that a small conflict quickly escalates, while on the other hand they prevent the partners from resolving an unpleasant situation quickly and constructively.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1694117205018\">Is the relationship doomed to fail once the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have appeared?<\/h3>\n<p>No! The behaviors described do not <em>automatically<\/em> lead to the end of a relationship. However, studies show that they can significantly <em>increase the <\/em><em>likelihood<\/em> of a later breakup .<em><\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>However, you are not powerless against all of this: If you consciously confront the malevolent horsemen, you can take targeted countermeasures and gradually banish them from your couple life.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The first step is to identify the individual horsemen of the apocalypse in one&#8217;s own everyday relationship life &#8211; because you need as clear a picture as possible in your mind of what to pay attention to:<\/p>\n<p><strong>In what form and in what situations do these harmful behavioral patterns gallop through one&#8217;s everyday life as a couple and damage the atmosphere?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This varies from couple to couple and is never directly comparable. However, even if \u2013 unlike Gottman and his research team \u2013 you won&#8217;t be using video cameras, measuring devices, or computers for a detailed analysis and evaluation of negative interactions with your partner:<\/p>\n<p><strong>You will certainly still be able to determine whether and, if so, which of Gottman&#8217;s four horsemen have already visited your relationship &#8211; provided you dare to look honestly and self-critically<\/strong> .<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s best to resolve to set aside all spontaneous impulses of defense or justification (in the sense of: &#8220;I had to be that way because you were that way&#8230;&#8221;) if you yourself repeatedly trigger conflict in your daily relationship. Realizing this doesn&#8217;t feel particularly good at first. But there&#8217;s no need to worry:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Immediately following the description of each individual rider, you will receive proven tips on how to limit existing damage and avoid further damaging the relationship in the future.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"t-1737411642080\"><strong>The First Horseman of the Apocalypse: A Review<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Drawing of a woman reading a newspaper while a man engages in a negative discussion and argument with her.\" data-id=\"48849\" width=\"812\" data-init-width=\"850\" height=\"461\" data-init-height=\"483\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Apokalyptischer-Reiter-Paarbeziehung-1-Kritik.jpg\" data-width=\"812\" data-height=\"461\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" title=\"Criticism in the relationship\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>The first horseman of the apocalypse identified by John Gottman is criticism.<\/p>\n<p>Now you might be asking yourself: &#8220;If <em>criticizing<\/em> is a behavior that harms my marriage, how am I supposed to address problems at all?&#8221; or: &#8220;Does that mean I have to just say <em>yes<\/em> to everything and completely suppress my needs and spontaneous reactions?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>These questions are absolutely valid. After all, it&#8217;s essential to talk openly about conflicts and disagreements in relationships. Those who always swallow them down and never address them will become increasingly unhappy over time \u2013 and will eventually &#8220;explode&#8221; from all the suppressed anger and frustration.<\/p>\n<p>So how can you tell your wife or husband in the future if something bothers you and you would like things to be different?<\/p>\n<p><strong>In this context, John Gottman made an important distinction: the distinction between <em>criticism<\/em> and <em>complaint<\/em> .<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1694117205020\">A <em>complaint<\/em> is not <em>criticism<\/em><\/h3>\n<p>Although both terms sound interchangeable at first glance, they differ in some key aspects. This is best illustrated with a concrete example.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A (destructive) critique might sound \u2013 somewhat exaggerated \u2013 something like this:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;You used to cook for me so often &#8211; but you don&#8217;t do that at all anymore. You&#8217;ve become quite selfish in general. You haven&#8217;t supported me for ages. You always think of yourself first. Be honest: you haven&#8217;t really loved me for quite some time now.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>A characteristic feature is that criticism often contains &#8220;you&#8221; messages, blame, and insinuations. It is frequently peppered with generalizing words such as &#8220;always,&#8221; &#8220;never,&#8221; &#8220;everything,&#8221; &#8220;only,&#8221; or &#8220;nothing,&#8221; and also includes the partner&#8217;s <em>overall<\/em> character, personality, or attitude .<\/p>\n<p><strong>A (constructive) complaint, on the other hand, might sound something like this:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;You used to cook for me so often \u2013 I always really enjoyed it. Unfortunately, that hasn&#8217;t been happening as often lately. I&#8217;d love it if you could cook something for us again next weekend. That would be really nice. What do you think of (&#8230;)? I&#8217;d really love some of that right now&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Complaints contain &#8220;I&#8221; statements that reflect one&#8217;s own wishes and needs. The wording is rather descriptive and refers to specific situations.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The two statements begin exactly the same and essentially contain the same message: <br \/><em>It was wonderful for me (and I also perceived it as a sign of your care, support, and love) to have you cook for me. I regret that this hasn&#8217;t happened for a while and would love to do it again sometime.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The other formulations, however, are completely different. Therefore, they evoke very different reactions in the recipient. They represent a very contrasting approach to one&#8217;s own needs and desires.<\/p>\n<p>Poorly worded criticism often contains an attack on the other person, inviting a defensive counterattack. Because those who feel attacked will strike back.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Criticism, justification, and counter-criticism quickly escalate until the situation spirals out of control.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Furthermore, the criticism formulated above, for example, conveys that the critic is generally dissatisfied with the entire relationship and the partner&#8217;s character. That is, of course, hurtful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>In contrast, a complaint ideally includes a suggestion that is as concrete and actionable as possible, describing what would benefit the person who formulated it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1694117205021\">Refrain from criticism and counter-criticism.<\/h3>\n<p>We can therefore give a clear recommendation on how to deal with the first horseman of the apocalypse:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\">Describe your own <strong>feelings<\/strong> .<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\">Avoid <strong>generalizations<\/strong> when addressing a problem or a wish. You don&#8217;t have to weigh every word, but certain words and phrases (like &#8220;so&#8221;) have proven to be unfavorable and should be avoided whenever possible.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\">Do not respond with justification, defense, or <strong>counter-criticism<\/strong> when your partner expresses criticism.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\">Instead, counter with a <strong>complaint<\/strong> (about his criticism), for example by saying: <em>&#8220;The way you just phrased that hurt me. It makes me feel like you&#8217;re completely unhappy in our relationship, and that I&#8217;ve been doing something fundamentally wrong for a long time.&#8221;<\/em> This will likely lead your partner to tone down his general criticism.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Phrase what would be good for you as <strong><em>a suggestion<\/em><\/strong> or <strong><em>request<\/em><\/strong> &#8211; and not as <em>a demand<\/em> or subsequent <em>accusation<\/em> .<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Couples often think that things have to get loud from time to time, in the sense of: &#8220;Arguments are like a cleansing thunderstorm&#8221; or: &#8220;That&#8217;s just part of the culture of arguing&#8221;.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In our experience, however, this isn&#8217;t true: By the time a <em>conflict<\/em> arises, the <em>culture<\/em> has almost always already broken down. Avoid escalation whenever possible. Express your wishes and needs <em>before<\/em> you completely lose your temper.<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"t-1737411642081\"><strong>The second horseman: Contempt<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Sketch of a man talking angrily about housework while his wife looks away in annoyance.\" data-id=\"48850\" width=\"812\" data-init-width=\"850\" height=\"461\" data-init-height=\"483\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Apokalyptischer-Reiter-Paarbeziehung-2-Verachtung.jpg\" data-width=\"812\" data-height=\"461\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" title=\"Contempt in the relationship\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>The second horseman of the apocalypse is contempt.<\/p>\n<p>You are probably familiar with this phenomenon: In an argument, things happen that you later regret.<\/p>\n<p><strong>People roll their eyes, make sarcastic and disparaging remarks, and sometimes even say something hurtful quite deliberately and intentionally.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But even if one didn&#8217;t &#8216;actually&#8217; mean it that way: Such behaviors can be interpreted as various forms of <em>contempt .<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The reason: When someone makes contemptuous remarks or signals, it&#8217;s usually no longer just about the point of contention itself, but about spitefully hurting their partner. They come across as a deliberate attack. For example, seemingly insignificant details can escalate into fundamental criticism of the person, such as: <em>&#8220;You always leave your dirty socks lying around. If you&#8217;re this messy and chaotic at work, I can easily understand why your boss didn&#8217;t promote you!&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Such a statement can be deeply hurtful.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1694117205023\">Contempt is a breach of trust.<\/h3>\n<p><strong>It becomes particularly painful when the intimacy between two partners is used as a weapon and sore spots of the other person, which were discussed in confidence, are exploited.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Even if such a statement is only made during a heated argument and the other person sincerely regrets it shortly afterwards, such an incident can permanently damage the partner&#8217;s trust.<\/p>\n<p>Mimicking someone else or sighing loudly can also express contempt, as can mocking laughter or head-shaking. All of these things say at that moment: &#8220;I don&#8217;t take you seriously and I think what you say or do is stupid.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Similar to criticism, such behavior invites a defensive response. However, this response is usually even more severe than after criticism, as contempt is even more hurtful. Ultimately, it violates the fundamental principle of good relationships: treating each other with respect and as equals.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1694117205024\">Avoid contempt or make amends immediately.<\/h3>\n<p>Of course, for the sake of love, it&#8217;s best to avoid behaviors that express contempt. However, this isn&#8217;t always possible. What can you do if a conflict has involved contemptuous behavior?<\/p>\n<p>In this case, apologize immediately, not after the argument has ended \u2013 because no matter how angry you are or how serious the conflict may be:<\/p>\n<p><strong>A derogatory remark should not go unchallenged. It causes lasting damage to the loved one. And that is certainly not what you want for yourself or your relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When something is perceived as contemptuous, it&#8217;s usually not forgotten even after the argument. Make it clear that the contemptuous behavior doesn&#8217;t reflect your true feelings towards your loved one.<\/p>\n<p>Signs of appreciation and sincere compliments can help to make up for the moment of contempt.<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"t-1737411642082\"><strong>The third horseman: Walls<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Sketch showing how a couple is separated by a wall between them.\" data-id=\"48922\" width=\"812\" data-init-width=\"850\" height=\"461\" data-init-height=\"483\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Auseinander-gelebt-typische-Anzeichen.jpg\" data-width=\"812\" data-height=\"461\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" title=\"Distance in relationship\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>In a violent collision, you may sometimes reach a point where you no longer want to or can deal with the situation because emotions are running high.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Many couples experience this, especially after derogatory remarks have been made. Often, one partner withdraws and avoids further conflict altogether. Usually, the other reacts similarly and also withdraws. This behavior can be beneficial if both use the lull in the argument to regulate their emotions. Afterwards, a calmer, more objective discussion about the conflict issues can take place, increasing the likelihood of resolving the dispute together.<\/p>\n<p><strong>However, partners don&#8217;t always get back together after a period of separation. If this happens, the separation becomes a problem.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Often, one partner avoids discussing sensitive topics altogether, for example by leaving the room when certain subjects are brought up. This can serve as self-protection and a desire to avoid appearing vulnerable. However, this creates veritable &#8220;areas of silence&#8221; that the couple no longer discusses.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, one partner in a relationship withdraws more and more often. This can be triggered by stress with colleagues at work or in everyday life. By remaining silent and avoiding potential conflicts, the already stressed partner wants to prevent additional relationship stress. This usually happens unconsciously, without any explicit decision on their part.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1694117205026\">R\u00fcckzug baut eine Mauer zwischen den Partnern auf<\/h3>\n<p>Auf den ersten Blick wirkt R\u00fcckzug wie eine sinnvolle Verhaltensweise, die einen hitzigen Streit beenden und dadurch verhindern kann, dass ein Konflikt eskaliert. Sie hat aber eine gro\u00dfe Signalwirkung:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ein Partner \u201emauert\u201c sich regelrecht vor dem anderen ein. Er signalisiert: \u201eIch lasse dich nicht an mich heran, du bist unerw\u00fcnscht.\u201c Gleichzeitig macht das Mauern die Aufarbeitung und L\u00f6sung von Konflikten unm\u00f6glich. Und das ist Gift f\u00fcr jede Paarbeziehung!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Im schlimmsten Fall l\u00f6st all das beim anderen das Gef\u00fchl aus, das Gegen\u00fcber habe kein Interesse mehr an der Beziehung. Es scheint schlie\u00dflich so, als w\u00fcrde er sich nicht mehr mit dem anderen austauschen und nicht mehr in die Beziehung oder Ehe investieren wollen. Mauern in diesem Sinne verhindert emotionale N\u00e4he zwischen den Beziehungspartnern und f\u00fchrt auf Dauer zu einer emotionalen Entfremdung &#8211; eine der h\u00e4ufigsten Trennungsursachen!<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1694117205027\">Schaffen Sie Intimit\u00e4t und Offenheit<\/h3>\n<p>Die wichtigste Ma\u00dfnahme gegen das Mauern ist Vorbeugen: Verbringen Sie regelm\u00e4\u00dfig Zeit mit Ihrem Liebsten, in der Sie es m\u00f6glichst entspannt und sch\u00f6n miteinander haben. Das st\u00e4rkt die emotionale N\u00e4he und bildet die Basis, um sich vertrauensvoll miteinander austauschen zu k\u00f6nnen.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Falls es bei Ihnen bereits \u201eSchweige-Themen\u201c geben sollte, ist nun der Zeitpunkt gekommen, um sie anzusprechen.<\/strong> Schaffen Sie dazu eine angenehme Atmosph\u00e4re und tasten Sie sich behutsam heran, indem Sie erst einmal \u00fcber andere Dinge sprechen, mit denen Sie sich beide wohl f\u00fchlen, und das \u201eSchweige-Thema\u201c nur ganz vorsichtig antippen. Teilen Sie offen mit, dass es f\u00fcr Sie ebenfalls nicht einfach ist, dar\u00fcber zu sprechen &#8211; Sie aber der Meinung sind, dass es wichtig w\u00e4re, weil es Sie besch\u00e4ftigt. Bem\u00fchen Sie sich um eine wohlwollende und respektvolle Ausgangssituation.<\/p>\n<p>Trotz der bisherigen Empfehlungen wird sich nicht jeder Streit vermeiden lassen. In der akuten Situation selbst kann Ihnen wieder danach sein, sich sofort zur\u00fcckzuziehen. Was k\u00f6nnen Sie also tun, wenn der Konflikt bereits in vollem Gange ist und Sie in der Hitze des Moments bereits wortlos den Raum verlassen haben?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Versuchen Sie, weiteres Mauern abzuk\u00fcrzen. Das bedeutet: Atmen Sie tief durch und suchen Sie danach wieder das Gespr\u00e4ch. Signalisieren Sie, dass es Ihnen am Herzen liegt, den Konflikt beizulegen.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"t-1737411642083\"><strong>Der vierte Reiter: Machtdemonstration<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Sketch of a man setting three aggressive dogs on a woman sitting on the ground\" data-id=\"49037\" width=\"812\" data-init-width=\"850\" height=\"461\" data-init-height=\"483\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Paartherapie-Notfall-Krise-Missbrauch.jpg\" data-width=\"812\" data-height=\"461\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" title=\"Contact person for couples therapy in emergencies\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Den Begriff \u201eMachtdemonstration\u201c verbinden viele Menschen oft eher mit ihrer Positionierung am Arbeitsplatz und nicht so sehr mit ihrer Partnerschaft. Machtdemonstrationen kommen jedoch auch in vielen Paarbeziehungen vor.<\/p>\n<p>Stellen Sie sich folgendes Beispiel vor:<\/p>\n<p>Lena and Linus are a couple and share a car. Lately, Linus has often taken it without asking, even though Lena would have liked to use it too. Now Linus has tickets for a concert in a remote arena and desperately needs the car to drive there with a friend. Because Lena is angry about the lack of communication over the past few weeks, she retaliates by working late that very day and returning the car late, causing Linus and his friend to miss the concert.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1694117205029\">Power displays damage the foundation of the relationship.<\/h3>\n<p>Linus can now interpret this behavior in two ways:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Outwardly directed: &#8220;Lena wants to show that I am dependent on her and that she can determine what I can and cannot do.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Looking inward: &#8220;Lena doesn&#8217;t care about my wishes and needs. She doesn&#8217;t help to fulfill them and even actively gets in their way.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In both cases, Linus feels powerless. Lena, on the other hand, has demonstrated her power.<\/p>\n<p>Besides such blatant behaviors, many partnerships also exhibit more subtle forms of power displays. A particularly common tactic is the repeated rehashing of long-past misconduct, for example, when one partner repeatedly dredges up the other&#8217;s past mistakes in discussions. This triggers feelings of guilt in the other partner each time and thus &#8220;manipulates&#8221; the discussion.<\/p>\n<p>Power displays from a partner often cause deep hurt, as they challenge the fundamental principle of an equal relationship. This creates a spiral of mutual power struggles that not infrequently culminates in the ultimate demonstration: an affair. The message to the partner is: &#8220;I don&#8217;t need you. Your needs for fidelity and honesty are irrelevant to me.&#8221; Ultimately, this often means the end of the relationship.<\/p>\n<p>If you have already experienced infidelity in your relationship, our blog article &#8221; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/affaere-verzeihen\/\" style=\"outline: none;\">Forgiving an Affair<\/a> &#8221; offers concrete help on how to deal with this exceptional situation.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"t-1701955420765\">Work together to address displays of power.<\/h3>\n<p>If you notice power struggles arising in your relationship, the golden rule is: address them directly. Explore the reasons for them together.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Perhaps there&#8217;s a serious worry or a genuine need behind it that your partner doesn&#8217;t know how else to express. It&#8217;s also possible that there&#8217;s lingering resentment about a (past or present) situation in your relationship that hurt (or has hurt) him.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Work through these reasons together. This will help you prevent power struggles and return to an equal partnership.<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"t-1737411642084\"><strong>How to prevent a love apocalypse!<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>From now on, pay close attention to the four horsemen of the apocalypse in your everyday relationships, because they can be the ultimate &#8220;relationship killers&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Remember: If you encounter some of the horsemen of the apocalypse in your daily life as a couple, your relationship isn&#8217;t automatically doomed. Becoming more aware and identifying them is already an important step. Together, you can effectively confront each of the apocalyptic horsemen and banish them forever.<\/p>\n<p>If such behaviors continue to occur more frequently despite your serious efforts, this may indicate that there are deeper conflicts in your relationship that you apparently cannot resolve without external support.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Strengthen your relationship by examining the underlying causes more closely. If necessary, seek professional help to prevent further damage.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In-person couples counseling or couples therapy (e.g. at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.die-partnerschaftsberater.de\/\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"outline: none;\">die-partnerschaftsberater.de<\/a> ) or an online program that you can use regardless of time and place may be the next sensible step.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Our recommendation: Get to know the CoupleBalance program for lasting relationship happiness.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/online-coaching\/\" style=\"outline: none;\"><strong>To the Couple Balance Program \u2192<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>PaarBalance is the only scientifically verified, interactive online coaching program for improving couple relationships in German-speaking countries, which can also be used by the <em>individual partner .<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>This means you can take immediate action and start \u2013 regardless of where your life partner (currently) stands.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Through 18 sessions, you will receive proven, scientifically validated tips on how to consistently bid farewell to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and (re)discover more ease, joy of life and sense of togetherness.<\/p>\n<p>All the best on your journey and warmest regards<\/p>\n<p>Yours sincerely, Dr. Judith Gastner &amp; the PaarBalance team<\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><strong>\u261d\ud83c\udffb <span>Related articles on the topic of <\/span><strong><span>&nbsp;&#8220;The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse&#8221;<\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/paarberatung\/\" dynamic-postlink=\"tcb_post_the_permalink\" data-shortcode-id=\"55027\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h4 id=\"t-1726662858576\" style=\"\"><span data-shortcode=\"tcb_post_title\" data-shortcode-name=\"Post title\" data-extra_key=\"\" data-attr-link=\"1\" data-attr-target=\"0\" data-attr-rel=\"0\" data-option-inline=\"1\" data-attr-static-link=\"{&quot;className&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/paarberatung\/&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Couples counseling \u2013 Will it save our relationship?&quot;,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-attr-css=\"\" style=\"font-weight: normal;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/paarberatung\/\" title=\"Couples counseling \u2013 Will it save our relationship?\" data-css=\"\">Couples counseling \u2013 Will it save our relationship?<\/a><\/span><\/h4>\n<p>Relationship stress can be very stressful, yet many people hesitate to seek professional help. Couples counseling can make all the difference! Learn what to expect in couples counseling and in which situations it can be helpful.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/paarberatung\/#more-65892\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/beziehungspause\/\" dynamic-postlink=\"tcb_post_the_permalink\" data-shortcode-id=\"55027\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h4 id=\"t-1726662858576\" style=\"\"><span data-shortcode=\"tcb_post_title\" data-shortcode-name=\"Post title\" data-extra_key=\"\" data-attr-link=\"1\" data-attr-target=\"0\" data-attr-rel=\"0\" data-option-inline=\"1\" data-attr-static-link=\"{&quot;className&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/paarberatung\/&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Couples counseling \u2013 Will it save our relationship?&quot;,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-attr-css=\"\" style=\"font-weight: normal;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/beziehungspause\/\" title=\"Relationship break: Beginning of the end or chance for a fresh start?\" data-css=\"\">Relationship break: Beginning of the end or chance for a fresh start?<\/a><\/span><\/h4>\n<p>Are you considering taking a break from your relationship? Here you&#8217;ll find sound decision-making support with the most important insights from couples therapy.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/beziehungspause\/#more-65913\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/trennung-auf-zeit\/\" dynamic-postlink=\"tcb_post_the_permalink\" data-shortcode-id=\"55027\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h4 id=\"t-1726662858576\" style=\"\"><span data-shortcode=\"tcb_post_title\" data-shortcode-name=\"Post title\" data-extra_key=\"\" data-attr-link=\"1\" data-attr-target=\"0\" data-attr-rel=\"0\" data-option-inline=\"1\" data-attr-static-link=\"{&quot;className&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/paarberatung\/&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Couples counseling \u2013 Will it save our relationship?&quot;,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-attr-css=\"\" style=\"font-weight: normal;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/trennung-auf-zeit\/\" title=\"Trennung auf Zeit? Die besten Tipps unserer Paartherapeuten\" data-css=\"\">Trennung auf Zeit? Die besten Tipps unserer Paartherapeuten<\/a><\/span><\/h4>\n<p>Are you considering a trial separation and wondering if a break in your relationship could be good for you? We can help you gain clarity on whether and under what conditions a &#8218;trial separation&#8216; makes sense for your partnership.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/trennung-auf-zeit\/#more-65989\"><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>According to John Gottman, there are four behavioral patterns that cause particularly severe damage to partnerships. Gottman calls them &#8220;the four horsemen of the apocalypse of relationships.&#8221; This article will explain what they are and how you can banish them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":68019,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-columns tcb-tablet-hidden\" style=\"--tcb-col-el-width: 532;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3892\" data-class=\"tcb-tablet-hidden\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-row v-2 m-edit tcb-medium-no-wrap tcb--cols--2 tcb-mobile-wrap\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3891\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388d\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3885\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3886\" style=\"\">\n<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" style=\"\" 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thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3884\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-plain-text\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3880\" style=\"text-align: left;\"><span style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-189b8212a78\">[pb_autor_info]<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-divider\" data-style-d=\"tve_sep-1\" data-thickness-d=\"2\" data-color-d=\"rgb(255, 255, 255)\" data-gradient-d=\"linear-gradient(90deg, rgb(66, 66, 66) 0%, rgb(0, 0, 0) 100%)\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3895\" style=\"\">\n\t<hr class=\"tve_sep tve_sep-1\" style=\"background-image: none;\">\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3893\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3894\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3890\" style=\"\">\n<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388f\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3882\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-plain-text\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388c\" style=\"text-align: left;\"><span data-css=\"tve-u-191bd379194\" style=\"\">Category:<\/span>\n<span class=\"thrive-shortcode-content\" data-attr-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3881\" data-attr-link=\"1\" data-attr-rel=\"0\" data-attr-static-link=\"{&quot;className&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/category\/beziehung-partnerschaft\/&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Relationship &amp; Partnership&quot;,&quot;data-css&quot;:&quot;tve-u-192dfdd3881&quot;,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-attr-target=\"0\" data-extra_key=\"\" data-option-inline=\"1\" data-shortcode=\"tcb_post_categories\" data-shortcode-name=\"List of categories\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3888\">[tcb_post_categories css='tve-u-192dfdd3881' link='1' rel='0' 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0-36.204l36.203-36.204c9.997-9.998 26.207-9.998 36.204 0L192 312.69 432.095 72.596c9.997-9.997 26.207-9.997 36.204 0l36.203 36.204c9.997 9.997 9.997 26.206 0 36.204l-294.4 294.401c-9.998 9.997-26.207 9.997-36.204-.001z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53ef\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f4\" style=\"\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5404\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-plain-text\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5409\" style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong><span data-css=\"tve-u-192df4855f7\" style=\"\">Quality assurance<\/span><\/strong><\/div><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f1\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-plain-text\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53e9\" style=\"text-align: left;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/prof-dr-ludwig-schindler\/\" class=\"\" 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6.11,13.65L5.64,14.12C4.46,15.29 4.46,17.19 5.64,18.36C6.81,19.54 8.71,19.54 9.88,18.36L13.41,14.83C14.59,13.66 14.59,11.76 13.41,10.59C13,10.2 13,9.56 13.41,9.17Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_custom_html_shortcode\" data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd540b\" style=\"\"><code class=\"tve_js_placeholder\">[tcb-script]\ndocument.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\", function() {\n    const copyLinks = document.querySelectorAll(\".copy-link\");\n    copyLinks.forEach(link =&gt; {\n        link.addEventListener(\"click\", function(event) {\n            event.preventDefault();\n            const textToCopy = \"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/\";\n            navigator.clipboard.writeText(textToCopy).then(function() {\n                alert(\"Link wurde in die Zwischenablage kopiert!\");\n            }).catch(function(error) {\n                alert(\"Fehler beim Kopieren 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src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Artikel-Header-Vier-apokalyptische-Reiter-Paartherapie.jpg\" data-width=\"734\" data-css=\"tve-u-18b7130a0ef\" data-height=\"238\" width=\"734\" height=\"238\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 800 \/ 260;\" class=\"wp-image-59388\" title=\"Overview Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Couple Therapy\">\n<\/picture>\n<\/span><p class=\"thrv_wrapper wp-caption-text thrv-inline-text\" style=\"text-align: center;\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d337bc15\"><em><em>We should do everything we can to ensure that they consistently gallop past us in the future: the four horsemen of the apocalypse in a relationship, which, according to John Gottman, the well-known American couples therapist, devastate every love.<\/em><\/em><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b177e0a\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"tve_image wp-image-59982\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"59982\" width=\"30\" data-init-width=\"150\" height=\"30\" data-init-height=\"150\" title=\"PaarBalance Divider Icon\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/PaarBalance-Divider-Icon.png\" data-width=\"30\" data-height=\"30\" data-css=\"tve-u-1920f68b05b\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 150 \/ 150;\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b0\" style=\"\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" style=\"--tve-border-width: 0px; border: none !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731af\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b1\"><strong>\u261d\ud83c\udffb Quick Start: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in a Relationship<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list tcb-icon-display\" data-icon-code=\"icon-angle-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b3\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b4\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731ba\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 256 512\" data-id=\"icon-angle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M224.3 273l-136 136c-9.4 9.4-24.6 9.4-33.9 0l-22.6-22.6c-9.4-9.4-9.4-24.6 0-33.9l96.4-96.4-96.4-96.4c-9.4-9.4-9.4-24.6 0-33.9L54.3 103c9.4-9.4 24.6-9.4 33.9 0l136 136c9.5 9.4 9.5 24.6.1 34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b5\" style=\"\"><strong><strong>Criticism is poison for relationships<\/strong> :<\/strong> When criticism becomes consistently personal and destructive instead of constructive, the relationship begins to erode.<a href=\"#tve-jump-1928b20e8a9\" class=\"tve-jump-scroll\" style=\"outline: none;\"> You can find out how to express criticism correctly here<\/a> . \u2193<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b4\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731ba\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 256 512\" data-id=\"icon-angle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M224.3 273l-136 136c-9.4 9.4-24.6 9.4-33.9 0l-22.6-22.6c-9.4-9.4-9.4-24.6 0-33.9l96.4-96.4-96.4-96.4c-9.4-9.4-9.4-24.6 0-33.9L54.3 103c9.4-9.4 24.6-9.4 33.9 0l136 136c9.5 9.4 9.5 24.6.1 34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b5\" style=\"\"><strong><strong>Contempt leads to escalation<\/strong> :<\/strong> Contempt is one of the most dangerous patterns in a relationship. Derogatory comments and ridicule create deep emotional wounds and often lead to insurmountable conflicts.<a href=\"#tve-jump-1928b22a171\" class=\"tve-jump-scroll\" style=\"outline: none;\"> Here's how to avoid this.<\/a> \u2193<a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/die-vier-apokalyptischen-reiter-einer-paarbeziehung\/\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_new\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><br><\/a><\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b4\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731ba\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 256 512\" data-id=\"icon-angle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M224.3 273l-136 136c-9.4 9.4-24.6 9.4-33.9 0l-22.6-22.6c-9.4-9.4-9.4-24.6 0-33.9l96.4-96.4-96.4-96.4c-9.4-9.4-9.4-24.6 0-33.9L54.3 103c9.4-9.4 24.6-9.4 33.9 0l136 136c9.5 9.4 9.5 24.6.1 34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b5\" style=\"\"><strong><strong>Walls \u2013 emotional withdrawal<\/strong> :<\/strong> When one partner shuts down emotionally, refuses to talk, and seeks distance, resolving conflicts becomes difficult.<a href=\"#tve-jump-1928b21fef8\" class=\"tve-jump-scroll\" style=\"outline: none;\"> Find out here how to deal with this lack of communication.<\/a> \u2193<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b177e0a\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"tve_image wp-image-59982\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"59982\" width=\"30\" data-init-width=\"150\" height=\"30\" data-init-height=\"150\" title=\"PaarBalance Divider Icon\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/PaarBalance-Divider-Icon.png\" data-width=\"30\" data-height=\"30\" data-css=\"tve-u-1920f68b05b\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 150 \/ 150;\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p><strong>What memories surface when you think back to the first weeks and months with your partner?<\/strong><\/p><p>Everything seemed perfect, and your relationship was characterized by love, closeness, security, mutual support, exciting eroticism, goodwill, respect, patience... And then?<\/p><p>Unfortunately, many couples experience their relationship changing over time. The tone becomes harsher. The atmosphere cooler. Intimacy and security diminish. Arguments increase. Sexuality fades. Neither partner feels truly seen, valued, or loved by the other anymore.<\/p><p>This article will tell you the most important things about <strong>four behavioral patterns that are particularly damaging to romantic relationships<\/strong> and make a later breakup likely. They were identified by the couples therapist, psychologist, and scientist John Gottman, who extensively studied the interaction dynamics between partners. He referred to these toxic patterns as \" <strong>the four horsemen of the apocalypse of romantic relationships<\/strong> .\"<\/p><p style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d388fa65\">You can find out what these are and how you can counteract them here.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-page-section tve-height-update tcb-window-width tcb-desktop-hidden tcb-tablet-hidden\" data-tve-scroll=\"{&quot;disabled&quot;:[&quot;desktop&quot;,&quot;tablet&quot;],&quot;top&quot;:0,&quot;mode&quot;:&quot;sticky&quot;,&quot;end&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;stickyPosition&quot;:&quot;bottom&quot;}\" data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7db\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-page-section-out\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d8\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-page-section-in tve_empty_dropzone\" data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d7\" style=\"\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-button thrv-button-v2 tcb-local-vars-root tve_ea_thrive_lightbox\" data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d3\" data-button-size-m=\"s\" style=\"\">\n<div class=\"thrive-colors-palette-config\" style=\"display: none !important\">__CONFIG_colors_palette__{\"active_palette\":0,\"config\":{\"colors\":{\"62516\":{\"name\":\"Main Accent\",\"parent\":-1}},\"gradients\":[]},\"palettes\":[{\"name\":\"Default Palette\",\"value\":{\"colors\":{\"62516\":{\"val\":\"var(--tcb-color-0)\"}},\"gradients\":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__<\/div>\n<a href=\"\" class=\"tcb-button-link tcb-plain-text tve_evt_manager_listen tve_et_click\" style=\"\" rel=\"\" data-tcb-events=\"__TCB_EVENT_[{&quot;config&quot;:{&quot;l_anim&quot;:&quot;instant&quot;,&quot;l_id&quot;:&quot;65132&quot;},&quot;a&quot;:&quot;thrive_lightbox&quot;,&quot;t&quot;:&quot;click&quot;}]_TNEVE_BCT__\"><span class=\"tcb-button-icon\">\n\t<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tve_no_icons tcb-icon-inherit-style\">\n\t<svg data-name=\"credit-card\" class=\"tcb-icon\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" x=\"0px\" y=\"0px\" viewBox=\"0 0 18 14\" xml:space=\"preserve\" preserveAspectRatio=\"none slice\">\n\t\t<g>\n\t\t\t<path d=\"M17.5,1.9v10.6c0,0.8-0.6,1.4-1.4,1.4h-14c-0.8,0-1.4-0.6-1.4-1.4V1.9c0-0.8,0.6-1.4,1.4-1.4h14 C16.9,0.5,17.5,1.1,17.5,1.9z M1.9,1.9v2h14.5v-2c0-0.1-0.1-0.3-0.3-0.3h-14C2,1.6,1.9,1.7,1.9,1.9z M16.4,12.5V7.2H1.9v5.3 c0,0.1,0.1,0.3,0.3,0.3h14C16.3,12.8,16.4,12.6,16.4,12.5z M3,10.5h2.2v1.1H3V10.5z M6.3,10.5h3.4v1.1H6.3V10.5z\"><\/path>\n\t\t<\/g>\n\t<\/svg>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/span>\n\n<span class=\"tcb-button-texts\"><span class=\"tcb-button-text thrv-inline-text\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d6\">Analyze your relationship now! <\/span><span class=\"tcb-secondary-text thrv-inline-text\" data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d5\" style=\"\">Free relationship test | 10 minutes<\/span><\/span>\n<\/a>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7da\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d9\" style=\"text-align: center;\">\ud83d\ude80 Already <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">65,511 people<\/span> have gained clarity through the test.<\/p><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc tve-elem-scroll tve-toc-expandable show-icon tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-columns=\"1\" data-ct=\"toc-60692\" data-transition=\"fade\" data-headers=\"h2\" data-numbering=\"advanced\" data-highlight=\"progressive\" data-ct-name=\"Table of Contents 11\" data-heading-style=\"{&quot;0&quot;:&quot;tve-u-191d8a71e71&quot;,&quot;1&quot;:&quot;tve-u-191d8a71e6e&quot;,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;tve-u-191d8a71e62&quot;}\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e63\" data-state-default=\"collapsed\" data-bullet-style=\"{&quot;0&quot;:&quot;tve-u-66bb3813415186&quot;,&quot;1&quot;:&quot;tve-u-66bb3813415199&quot;,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;tve-u-66bb38134151a6&quot;}\" data-number-style=\"{&quot;0&quot;:&quot;tve-u-191d8a71e6a&quot;,&quot;1&quot;:&quot;tve-u-191d8a71e6b&quot;,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;tve-u-191d8a71e6c&quot;}\" data-animation=\"slide\" data-state-default-d=\"expanded\" data-columns-d=\"1\" data-state-default-m=\"collapsed\" data-element-name=\"Table of Contents\" data-form-settings=\"__TCB_FORM__{&quot;form_identifier&quot;:&quot;clone-of-typisches-verhalten-nach-fremdgehen-so-entlarven-sie-untreue-partner-form-66bb38&quot;}__TCB_FORM__\" data-number-suffix=\"{&quot;0&quot;:&quot;.&quot;}\" data-styled-scrollbar=\"0\" data-id=\"mos7towo\"><div class=\"thrive-colors-palette-config\" style=\"display: none !important\">__CONFIG_colors_palette__{\"active_palette\":0,\"config\":{\"colors\":{\"a027f\":{\"name\":\"Main Accent\",\"parent\":-1},\"21e68\":{\"name\":\"Main Accent Light\",\"parent\":\"a027f\",\"lock\":{\"lightness\":1}},\"f1170\":{\"name\":\"Main Accent Transparent\",\"parent\":\"\",\"lock\":{\"lightness\":1}}},\"gradients\":[]},\"palettes\":[{\"name\":\"Default\",\"value\":{\"colors\":{\"a027f\":{\"val\":\"rgba(0, 93, 255, 0.05)\"},\"21e68\":{\"val\":\"rgb(184, 211, 255)\",\"hsl_parent_dependency\":{\"h\":217,\"l\":0.86,\"s\":1.03}},\"f1170\":{\"val\":\"rgba(65, 178, 233, 0.7)\"}},\"gradients\":[]},\"original\":{\"colors\":{\"a027f\":{\"val\":\"rgb(65, 178, 233)\",\"hsl\":{\"h\":199,\"s\":0.79,\"l\":0.58,\"a\":1}},\"21e68\":{\"val\":\"rgb(193, 231, 249)\",\"hsl_parent_dependency\":{\"h\":199,\"s\":0.82,\"l\":0.86,\"a\":1}},\"f1170\":{\"val\":\"rgba(65, 178, 233, 0.7)\"}},\"gradients\":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__<\/div><svg class=\"toc-icons\" style=\"position: absolute; width: 0; height: 0; overflow: hidden;\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><symbol id=\"toc-bullet-0-mos7towo\" viewBox=\"0 0 320 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-solid\"><path d=\"M285.476 272.971L91.132 467.314c-9.373 9.373-24.569 9.373-33.941 0l-22.667-22.667c-9.357-9.357-9.375-24.522-.04-33.901L188.505 256 34.484 101.255c-9.335-9.379-9.317-24.544.04-33.901l22.667-22.667c9.373-9.373 24.569-9.373 33.941 0L285.475 239.03c9.373 9.372 9.373 24.568.001 33.941z\"><\/path><\/symbol><symbol id=\"toc-bullet-1-mos7towo\" viewBox=\"0 0 320 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-solid\"><path d=\"M285.476 272.971L91.132 467.314c-9.373 9.373-24.569 9.373-33.941 0l-22.667-22.667c-9.357-9.357-9.375-24.522-.04-33.901L188.505 256 34.484 101.255c-9.335-9.379-9.317-24.544.04-33.901l22.667-22.667c9.373-9.373 24.569-9.373 33.941 0L285.475 239.03c9.373 9.372 9.373 24.568.001 33.941z\"><\/path><\/symbol><symbol id=\"toc-bullet-2-mos7towo\" viewBox=\"0 0 320 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-solid\"><path d=\"M285.476 272.971L91.132 467.314c-9.373 9.373-24.569 9.373-33.941 0l-22.667-22.667c-9.357-9.357-9.375-24.522-.04-33.901L188.505 256 34.484 101.255c-9.335-9.379-9.317-24.544.04-33.901l22.667-22.667c9.373-9.373 24.569-9.373 33.941 0L285.475 239.03c9.373 9.372 9.373 24.568.001 33.941z\"><\/path><\/symbol><\/svg><div class=\"tve-toc-divider\" style=\"position: absolute; width: 0; height: 0; overflow: hidden;\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-divider tve-vert-divider\" data-style=\"tve_sep-1\" data-color-d=\"rgb(217, 217, 217)\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e69\" data-style-d=\"tve_sep-4\" data-thickness-d=\"2\"><hr class=\"tve_sep tve_sep-4\" style=\"background-image: none;\"><\/div><\/div>\n<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" style=\"--tve-border-width: 0px; border: none !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e64\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-title reverse show-icon tve-no-dropzone tcb-icon-display tve-prevent-content-edit\" style=\"border-top-left-radius: 10px !important; border-top-right-radius: 10px !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\" data-tcb_hover_state_parent=\"\"><div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" style=\"\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"tve-cb\" style=\"\">\n<div class=\"tve-toc-title-icon\" data-icon-code=\"icon-angle-down-solid\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 320 512\" data-id=\"icon-angle-down-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M143 352.3L7 216.3c-9.4-9.4-9.4-24.6 0-33.9l22.6-22.6c9.4-9.4 24.6-9.4 33.9 0l96.4 96.4 96.4-96.4c9.4-9.4 24.6-9.4 33.9 0l22.6 22.6c9.4 9.4 9.4 24.6 0 33.9l-136 136c-9.2 9.4-24.4 9.4-33.8 0z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div>\n<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element tve_no_icons\" style=\"overflow: hidden; border-radius: 0px !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6f\"><div class=\"tcb-plain-text\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e68\">Table of Contents<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><div class=\"tve-cb tve-toc-content tve-prevent-content-edit\">\n<div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-list tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save tcb-no-clone tve-no-dropzone\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e66\" style=\"\" data-styled-scrollbar=\"0\">\n<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e67\" style=\"\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"tve-cb\" style=\"\">\n<div class=\"tve_ct_content tve_clearfix\"><div class=\"ct_column\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons\" data-tag=\"H2\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\" data-element-name=\"Heading Level 1\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-number tve-toc-number0 tve_no_icons tve-jump-scroll\" data-target=\"#t-1737411642078\" jump-animation=\"smooth\" data-element-name=\"Number Level 1\" data-level=\"0\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6a\"><span class=\"tve-toc-disabled\">1.<\/span><\/div><a href=\"#t-1737411642078\" class=\"tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll\" jump-animation=\"smooth\">How is your relationship going right now?<\/a><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons\" data-tag=\"H2\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\" data-element-name=\"Heading Level 1\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-number tve-toc-number0 tve_no_icons tve-jump-scroll\" data-target=\"#t-1737411642079\" jump-animation=\"smooth\" data-element-name=\"Number Level 1\" data-level=\"0\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6a\"><span class=\"tve-toc-disabled\">2.<\/span><\/div><a href=\"#t-1737411642079\" class=\"tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll\" jump-animation=\"smooth\">Why do relationships so often \"go downhill\"? - Here's the answer from relationship research.<\/a><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons\" data-tag=\"H2\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\" data-element-name=\"Heading Level 1\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-number tve-toc-number0 tve_no_icons tve-jump-scroll\" data-target=\"#t-1737411642080\" jump-animation=\"smooth\" data-element-name=\"Number Level 1\" data-level=\"0\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6a\"><span class=\"tve-toc-disabled\">3.<\/span><\/div><a href=\"#t-1737411642080\" class=\"tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll\" jump-animation=\"smooth\">The First Horseman of the Apocalypse: A Review<\/a><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons\" data-tag=\"H2\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\" data-element-name=\"Heading Level 1\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-number tve-toc-number0 tve_no_icons tve-jump-scroll\" data-target=\"#t-1737411642081\" jump-animation=\"smooth\" data-element-name=\"Number Level 1\" data-level=\"0\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6a\"><span class=\"tve-toc-disabled\">4.<\/span><\/div><a href=\"#t-1737411642081\" class=\"tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll\" jump-animation=\"smooth\">The second horseman: Contempt<\/a><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons\" data-tag=\"H2\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\" data-element-name=\"Heading Level 1\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-number tve-toc-number0 tve_no_icons tve-jump-scroll\" data-target=\"#t-1737411642082\" jump-animation=\"smooth\" data-element-name=\"Number Level 1\" data-level=\"0\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6a\"><span class=\"tve-toc-disabled\">5.<\/span><\/div><a href=\"#t-1737411642082\" class=\"tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll\" jump-animation=\"smooth\">The third horseman: Walls<\/a><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons\" data-tag=\"H2\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\" data-element-name=\"Heading Level 1\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-number tve-toc-number0 tve_no_icons tve-jump-scroll\" data-target=\"#t-1737411642083\" jump-animation=\"smooth\" data-element-name=\"Number Level 1\" data-level=\"0\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6a\"><span class=\"tve-toc-disabled\">6.<\/span><\/div><a href=\"#t-1737411642083\" class=\"tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll\" jump-animation=\"smooth\">Der vierte Reiter: Machtdemonstration<\/a><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons\" data-tag=\"H2\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\" data-element-name=\"Heading Level 1\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve-toc-number tve-toc-number0 tve_no_icons tve-jump-scroll\" data-target=\"#t-1737411642084\" jump-animation=\"smooth\" data-element-name=\"Number Level 1\" data-level=\"0\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6a\"><span class=\"tve-toc-disabled\">7.<\/span><\/div><a href=\"#t-1737411642084\" class=\"tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll\" jump-animation=\"smooth\">How to prevent a love apocalypse!<\/a><\/div><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-divider tve-vert-divider\" data-style=\"tve_sep-1\" data-color-d=\"rgb(217, 217, 217)\" data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e69\" data-style-d=\"tve_sep-4\" data-thickness-d=\"2\"><hr class=\"tve_sep tve_sep-4\" style=\"background-image: none;\"><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc43a43\"><h2 id=\"t-1737411642078\" class=\"\"><strong>How is <em>your<\/em> relationship going right now?<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-18a71434b3d\" style=\"\"><strong>How do you treat each other?<\/strong><\/p><p data-css=\"tve-u-18a71434b3d\" style=\"\"><strong>Take the test! (scientifically sound &amp; free)<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>Perhaps you are currently experiencing such a change and, after many arguments and conflicts, are asking yourself:<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a85dc45f3\">\"Do we still love each other?\"<\/li><\/ul><ul class=\"\"><li style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a85dc4e93\">\"Do we want to continue like this for much longer?\"<\/li><\/ul><ul class=\"\"><li>\"Do we have a real chance that things will be carefree and beautiful between us again?\"<\/li><\/ul><p>Feel free to use the scientifically based CoupleBalance relationship test (duration approx. 10 minutes) to gain a comprehensive overview of how you interact with each other as a couple.<\/p><p><strong>Immediately afterwards you will receive your individual strengths and weaknesses profile (free of charge and without obligation) as well as concrete recommendations on how to successfully resolve personal problem areas and significantly expand existing resources.<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"tcb-clear\" data-css=\"tve-u-18c87b5367c\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb1\" style=\"\">\n<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45ba3\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc62a1c\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45ba5\" style=\"text-align: center;\">Take your relationship test now! (free)<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb5\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45ba8\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>How is your relationship? <br>What are your strengths and weaknesses?<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-columns\" style=\"--tcb-col-el-width: 512;\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45baf\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-row v-2 tcb--cols--2 tcb-resized\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45ba7\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-col c-33\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb0\"><div class=\"tcb-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886ccb1283\" style=\"\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45ba4\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><picture decoding=\"async\" class=\"tve_image wp-image-424 tcb-moved-image\" data-id=\"424\" data-init-width=\"1000\" data-init-height=\"1000\" title=\"Relationship profile\" data-width=\"204\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 1000 \/ 1000;\" data-css=\"tve-u-189b52d0ef2\" data-height=\"204\" loading=\"lazy\">\n<source type=\"image\/webp\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Flyer from PaarBalance Online Coaching with personal relationship profile for relationship problems\" data-id=\"53041\" data-init-width=\"1000\" data-init-height=\"1000\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/beziehungsprofil.webp\" data-width=\"212\" data-css=\"tve-u-189b52d0ef2\" data-height=\"212\" width=\"212\" height=\"212\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 1000 \/ 1000;\" class=\"wp-image-53041\" title=\"Relationship profile Relationship test\">\n<\/picture>\n<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"tcb-flex-col c-66\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb3\"><div class=\"tcb-col\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb6\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45ba9\">You will find out immediately afterwards in your personal PaarBalance relationship profile (free).<\/p><p data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45ba9\"><strong>Start your relationship test now!<\/strong><\/p><p data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45baa\" style=\"\">\u2713 Scientifically sound <br>\u2713 Includes detailed analysis <br>\u2713 Your data will not be shared <br>\u2713 100% free &amp; non-binding<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-button thrv-button-v2 tcb-local-vars-root tcb-flip\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bab\" data-type=\"\" data-tcb_hover_state_parent=\"\" style=\"\">\n<div class=\"thrive-colors-palette-config\" style=\"display: none !important\">__CONFIG_colors_palette__{\"active_palette\":0,\"config\":{\"colors\":{\"62516\":{\"name\":\"Main Accent\",\"parent\":-1}},\"gradients\":[]},\"palettes\":[{\"name\":\"Default Palette\",\"value\":{\"colors\":{\"62516\":{\"val\":\"var(--tcb-color-0)\"}},\"gradients\":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__<\/div>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/app.paarbalance.de\/beziehungstest\" class=\"tcb-button-link tcb-plain-text\" style=\"\" target=\"_blank\"><span class=\"tcb-button-icon\">\n<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tve_no_icons tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bac\" data-tcb_hover_state_parent=\"\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-arrow-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm-28.9 143.6l75.5 72.4H120c-13.3 0-24 10.7-24 24v16c0 13.3 10.7 24 24 24h182.6l-75.5 72.4c-9.7 9.3-9.9 24.8-.4 34.3l11 10.9c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L404.3 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-33.9L271.6 106.3c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-11 10.9c-9.5 9.6-9.3 25.1.4 34.4z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div>\n<\/span>\n<span class=\"tcb-button-texts\"><span class=\"tcb-button-text thrv-inline-text\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bad\" style=\"\"><strong>Start your free relationship test now<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"tcb-secondary-text thrv-inline-text tve-froala fr-box\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bae\" style=\"\"><\/span><\/span>\n<\/a>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb2\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><small>100% secure. We comply with data protection regulations. Registration for the relationship test is <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">free<\/span> . <br>Please read this important information beforehand: <\/small><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/datenschutzerklaerung\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><small>Data Protection<\/small><\/a><small> &nbsp;\u1427 <\/small><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/agb\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><small>Terms and Conditions<\/small><\/a><small> &nbsp;\u1427 <\/small><a href=\"\/en\/allgemeine-informationsvertragsbedingungen\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><small>General Information Agreement Terms and Conditions<\/small><\/a><small> &nbsp;. <\/small><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Transparenzerklaerung.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><small>Transparency Statement<\/small><\/a><\/p><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc43a43\"><h2 id=\"t-1737411642079\" class=\"\"><strong>Why do relationships so often \"go downhill\"? - Here's the answer from relationship research.<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>Almost <em>every<\/em> couple desires a loving and relaxed relationship. Nobody wants to live permanently in a tense or frosty atmosphere.<\/p><p>Why then do so many couples eventually reach a point where they are no longer friendly to each other and are increasingly unhappy?<\/p><p>John Gottman, an American psychologist, scientist, and author born in 1942, wanted to better understand the emotional world of couples. To this end, he conducted numerous studies, including investigations into the relationship between...<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li>the <strong>interaction dynamics<\/strong> between the partners,<\/li><\/ul><ul class=\"\"><li><strong>the relationship satisfaction<\/strong> experienced by the couple and<\/li><\/ul><ul class=\"\"><li>the subsequent <strong>separation rate<\/strong> .<\/li><\/ul><p><strong>He was able to identify four behavioral patterns that cause particularly lasting damage to couples and make a later breakup likely. Gottman calls them \" <em>the four horsemen of the apocalypse of relationships<\/em> \".<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 id=\"t-1694117205017\" class=\"\">Harbingers of impending doom<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>Gottman chose the name \"Apocalyptic Horsemen\" in reference to the <em>Book of Revelation<\/em> , the last book of the New Testament. There, the apocalyptic horsemen are messengers who announce the end of the world. Similar to the biblical prophecy, the apocalyptic horsemen of the couple's relationship are aptly named: their name says it all.<\/p><p><strong>When they become commonplace in relationships - while at the same time the affected couples lose their sense of \"good manners\" - they can mean the end and downfall of love.<\/strong><\/p><p>They creep in over time, become a habit, and reveal their destructive potential, especially in conflict situations.<\/p><p>On the one hand, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ensure that a small conflict quickly escalates, while on the other hand they prevent the partners from resolving an unpleasant situation quickly and constructively.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 id=\"t-1694117205018\" class=\"\">Is the relationship doomed to fail once the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have appeared?<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>No! The behaviors described do not <em>automatically<\/em> lead to the end of a relationship. However, studies show that they can significantly <em>increase the <\/em><em>likelihood<\/em> of a later breakup .<em><\/em><\/p><p><strong>However, you are not powerless against all of this: If you consciously confront the malevolent horsemen, you can take targeted countermeasures and gradually banish them from your couple life.<\/strong><\/p><p>The first step is to identify the individual horsemen of the apocalypse in one's own everyday relationship life - because you need as clear a picture as possible in your mind of what to pay attention to:<\/p><p><strong>In what form and in what situations do these harmful behavioral patterns gallop through one's everyday life as a couple and damage the atmosphere?<\/strong><\/p><p>This varies from couple to couple and is never directly comparable. However, even if \u2013 unlike Gottman and his research team \u2013 you won't be using video cameras, measuring devices, or computers for a detailed analysis and evaluation of negative interactions with your partner:<\/p><p><strong>You will certainly still be able to determine whether and, if so, which of Gottman's four horsemen have already visited your relationship - provided you dare to look honestly and self-critically<\/strong> .<\/p><p>It's best to resolve to set aside all spontaneous impulses of defense or justification (in the sense of: \"I had to be that way because you were that way...\") if you yourself repeatedly trigger conflict in your daily relationship. Realizing this doesn't feel particularly good at first. But there's no need to worry:<\/p><p><strong>Immediately following the description of each individual rider, you will receive proven tips on how to limit existing damage and avoid further damaging the relationship in the future.<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc43a43\" id=\"tve-jump-1928b20e8a9\"><h2 id=\"t-1737411642080\" class=\"\"><strong>The First Horseman of the Apocalypse: A Review<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption tve-image-caption-below\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a71453413\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><picture decoding=\"async\" class=\"tve_image tcb-moved-image wp-image-48849\" data-id=\"48849\" data-init-width=\"850\" data-init-height=\"483\" title=\"The First Horseman of the Apocalypse: A Review\" data-width=\"755\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192b515b01c\" loading=\"lazy\" data-height=\"429\">\n<source type=\"image\/webp\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Drawing of a woman reading a newspaper while a man engages in a negative discussion and argument with her.\" data-id=\"48849\" width=\"812\" data-init-width=\"850\" height=\"461\" data-init-height=\"483\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Apokalyptischer-Reiter-Paarbeziehung-1-Kritik.jpg\" data-width=\"812\" data-css=\"tve-u-18c4476941e\" data-height=\"461\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" class=\"wp-image-48849\" title=\"Criticism in the relationship\">\n<\/picture>\n<\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>The first horseman of the apocalypse identified by John Gottman is criticism.<\/p><p>Now you might be asking yourself: \"If <em>criticizing<\/em> is a behavior that harms my marriage, how am I supposed to address problems at all?\" or: \"Does that mean I have to just say <em>yes<\/em> to everything and completely suppress my needs and spontaneous reactions?\"<\/p><p>These questions are absolutely valid. After all, it's essential to talk openly about conflicts and disagreements in relationships. Those who always swallow them down and never address them will become increasingly unhappy over time \u2013 and will eventually \"explode\" from all the suppressed anger and frustration.<\/p><p>So how can you tell your wife or husband in the future if something bothers you and you would like things to be different?<\/p><p><strong>In this context, John Gottman made an important distinction: the distinction between <em>criticism<\/em> and <em>complaint<\/em> .<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 id=\"t-1694117205020\" class=\"\">A <em>complaint<\/em> is not <em>criticism<\/em><\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>Although both terms sound interchangeable at first glance, they differ in some key aspects. This is best illustrated with a concrete example.<\/p><p><strong>A (destructive) critique might sound \u2013 somewhat exaggerated \u2013 something like this:<\/strong><\/p><p><em>\"You used to cook for me so often - but you don't do that at all anymore. You've become quite selfish in general. You haven't supported me for ages. You always think of yourself first. Be honest: you haven't really loved me for quite some time now.\"<\/em><\/p><p>A characteristic feature is that criticism often contains \"you\" messages, blame, and insinuations. It is frequently peppered with generalizing words such as \"always,\" \"never,\" \"everything,\" \"only,\" or \"nothing,\" and also includes the partner's <em>overall<\/em> character, personality, or attitude .<\/p><p><strong>A (constructive) complaint, on the other hand, might sound something like this:<\/strong><\/p><p><em>\"You used to cook for me so often \u2013 I always really enjoyed it. Unfortunately, that hasn't been happening as often lately. I'd love it if you could cook something for us again next weekend. That would be really nice. What do you think of (...)? I'd really love some of that right now...\"<\/em><\/p><p><strong>Complaints contain \"I\" statements that reflect one's own wishes and needs. The wording is rather descriptive and refers to specific situations.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p><p>The two statements begin exactly the same and essentially contain the same message: <br><em>It was wonderful for me (and I also perceived it as a sign of your care, support, and love) to have you cook for me. I regret that this hasn't happened for a while and would love to do it again sometime.<\/em><\/p><p>The other formulations, however, are completely different. Therefore, they evoke very different reactions in the recipient. They represent a very contrasting approach to one's own needs and desires.<\/p><p>Poorly worded criticism often contains an attack on the other person, inviting a defensive counterattack. Because those who feel attacked will strike back.<\/p><p><strong>Criticism, justification, and counter-criticism quickly escalate until the situation spirals out of control.<\/strong><\/p><p>Furthermore, the criticism formulated above, for example, conveys that the critic is generally dissatisfied with the entire relationship and the partner's character. That is, of course, hurtful.<\/p><p><strong>In contrast, a complaint ideally includes a suggestion that is as concrete and actionable as possible, describing what would benefit the person who formulated it.<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 id=\"t-1694117205021\" class=\"\">Refrain from criticism and counter-criticism.<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>We can therefore give a clear recommendation on how to deal with the first horseman of the apocalypse:<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a85dc883e\">Describe your own <strong>feelings<\/strong> .<\/li><\/ul><ul class=\"\"><li style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a85dc903b\">Avoid <strong>generalizations<\/strong> when addressing a problem or a wish. You don't have to weigh every word, but certain words and phrases (like \"so\") have proven to be unfavorable and should be avoided whenever possible.<\/li><\/ul><ul class=\"\"><li style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a85dc98a0\">Do not respond with justification, defense, or <strong>counter-criticism<\/strong> when your partner expresses criticism.<\/li><\/ul><ul class=\"\"><li style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a85dca051\">Instead, counter with a <strong>complaint<\/strong> (about his criticism), for example by saying: <em>\"The way you just phrased that hurt me. It makes me feel like you're completely unhappy in our relationship, and that I've been doing something fundamentally wrong for a long time.\"<\/em> This will likely lead your partner to tone down his general criticism.<\/li><\/ul><ul class=\"\"><li>Phrase what would be good for you as <strong><em>a suggestion<\/em><\/strong> or <strong><em>request<\/em><\/strong> - and not as <em>a demand<\/em> or subsequent <em>accusation<\/em> .<\/li><\/ul><p><strong>Couples often think that things have to get loud from time to time, in the sense of: \"Arguments are like a cleansing thunderstorm\" or: \"That's just part of the culture of arguing\".<\/strong><\/p><p>In our experience, however, this isn't true: By the time a <em>conflict<\/em> arises, the <em>culture<\/em> has almost always already broken down. Avoid escalation whenever possible. Express your wishes and needs <em>before<\/em> you completely lose your temper.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc43a43\" id=\"tve-jump-1928b22a171\"><h2 id=\"t-1737411642081\" class=\"\"><strong>The second horseman: Contempt<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption tve-image-caption-below\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a714739f9\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><picture decoding=\"async\" class=\"tve_image tcb-moved-image wp-image-48850\" data-id=\"48850\" data-init-width=\"850\" data-init-height=\"483\" title=\"Apocalyptic Horseman Relationship 2 - Contempt\" data-width=\"755\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192b533e43f\" loading=\"lazy\" data-height=\"429\">\n<source type=\"image\/webp\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Sketch of a man talking angrily about housework while his wife looks away in annoyance.\" data-id=\"48850\" width=\"812\" data-init-width=\"850\" height=\"461\" data-init-height=\"483\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Apokalyptischer-Reiter-Paarbeziehung-2-Verachtung.jpg\" data-width=\"812\" data-css=\"tve-u-18c44769ece\" data-height=\"461\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" class=\"wp-image-48850\" title=\"Contempt in the relationship\">\n<\/picture>\n<\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>The second horseman of the apocalypse is contempt.<\/p><p>You are probably familiar with this phenomenon: In an argument, things happen that you later regret.<\/p><p><strong>People roll their eyes, make sarcastic and disparaging remarks, and sometimes even say something hurtful quite deliberately and intentionally.<\/strong><\/p><p>But even if one didn't 'actually' mean it that way: Such behaviors can be interpreted as various forms of <em>contempt .<\/em><\/p><p>The reason: When someone makes contemptuous remarks or signals, it's usually no longer just about the point of contention itself, but about spitefully hurting their partner. They come across as a deliberate attack. For example, seemingly insignificant details can escalate into fundamental criticism of the person, such as: <em>\"You always leave your dirty socks lying around. If you're this messy and chaotic at work, I can easily understand why your boss didn't promote you!\"<\/em><\/p><p>Such a statement can be deeply hurtful.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 id=\"t-1694117205023\" class=\"\">Contempt is a breach of trust.<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p><strong>It becomes particularly painful when the intimacy between two partners is used as a weapon and sore spots of the other person, which were discussed in confidence, are exploited.<\/strong><\/p><p>Even if such a statement is only made during a heated argument and the other person sincerely regrets it shortly afterwards, such an incident can permanently damage the partner's trust.<\/p><p>Mimicking someone else or sighing loudly can also express contempt, as can mocking laughter or head-shaking. All of these things say at that moment: \"I don't take you seriously and I think what you say or do is stupid.\"<\/p><p>Similar to criticism, such behavior invites a defensive response. However, this response is usually even more severe than after criticism, as contempt is even more hurtful. Ultimately, it violates the fundamental principle of good relationships: treating each other with respect and as equals.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 id=\"t-1694117205024\" class=\"\">Avoid contempt or make amends immediately.<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>Of course, for the sake of love, it's best to avoid behaviors that express contempt. However, this isn't always possible. What can you do if a conflict has involved contemptuous behavior?<\/p><p>In this case, apologize immediately, not after the argument has ended \u2013 because no matter how angry you are or how serious the conflict may be:<\/p><p><strong>A derogatory remark should not go unchallenged. It causes lasting damage to the loved one. And that is certainly not what you want for yourself or your relationship.<\/strong><\/p><p>When something is perceived as contemptuous, it's usually not forgotten even after the argument. Make it clear that the contemptuous behavior doesn't reflect your true feelings towards your loved one.<\/p><p>Signs of appreciation and sincere compliments can help to make up for the moment of contempt.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc43a43\" id=\"tve-jump-1928b21fef8\"><h2 id=\"t-1737411642082\" class=\"\"><strong>The third horseman: Walls<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption tve-image-caption-below\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a7148e93d\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><picture decoding=\"async\" class=\"tve_image tcb-moved-image wp-image-48851\" data-id=\"48851\" data-init-width=\"850\" data-init-height=\"483\" title=\"The third horseman: Walls\" data-width=\"755\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192708acd76\" loading=\"lazy\" data-height=\"429\">\n<source type=\"image\/webp\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Sketch showing how a couple is separated by a wall between them.\" data-id=\"48922\" width=\"812\" data-init-width=\"850\" height=\"461\" data-init-height=\"483\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Auseinander-gelebt-typische-Anzeichen.jpg\" data-width=\"812\" data-css=\"tve-u-18c4476ac2f\" data-height=\"461\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" class=\"wp-image-48922\" title=\"Distance in relationship\">\n<\/picture>\n<\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p><strong>In a violent collision, you may sometimes reach a point where you no longer want to or can deal with the situation because emotions are running high.<\/strong><\/p><p>Many couples experience this, especially after derogatory remarks have been made. Often, one partner withdraws and avoids further conflict altogether. Usually, the other reacts similarly and also withdraws. This behavior can be beneficial if both use the lull in the argument to regulate their emotions. Afterwards, a calmer, more objective discussion about the conflict issues can take place, increasing the likelihood of resolving the dispute together.<\/p><p><strong>However, partners don't always get back together after a period of separation. If this happens, the separation becomes a problem.<\/strong><\/p><p>Often, one partner avoids discussing sensitive topics altogether, for example by leaving the room when certain subjects are brought up. This can serve as self-protection and a desire to avoid appearing vulnerable. However, this creates veritable \"areas of silence\" that the couple no longer discusses.<\/p><p>Sometimes, one partner in a relationship withdraws more and more often. This can be triggered by stress with colleagues at work or in everyday life. By remaining silent and avoiding potential conflicts, the already stressed partner wants to prevent additional relationship stress. This usually happens unconsciously, without any explicit decision on their part.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 id=\"t-1694117205026\" class=\"\">R\u00fcckzug baut eine Mauer zwischen den Partnern auf<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>Auf den ersten Blick wirkt R\u00fcckzug wie eine sinnvolle Verhaltensweise, die einen hitzigen Streit beenden und dadurch verhindern kann, dass ein Konflikt eskaliert. Sie hat aber eine gro\u00dfe Signalwirkung:<\/p><p><strong>Ein Partner \u201emauert\u201c sich regelrecht vor dem anderen ein. Er signalisiert: \u201eIch lasse dich nicht an mich heran, du bist unerw\u00fcnscht.\u201c Gleichzeitig macht das Mauern die Aufarbeitung und L\u00f6sung von Konflikten unm\u00f6glich. Und das ist Gift f\u00fcr jede Paarbeziehung!<\/strong><\/p><p>Im schlimmsten Fall l\u00f6st all das beim anderen das Gef\u00fchl aus, das Gegen\u00fcber habe kein Interesse mehr an der Beziehung. Es scheint schlie\u00dflich so, als w\u00fcrde er sich nicht mehr mit dem anderen austauschen und nicht mehr in die Beziehung oder Ehe investieren wollen. Mauern in diesem Sinne verhindert emotionale N\u00e4he zwischen den Beziehungspartnern und f\u00fchrt auf Dauer zu einer emotionalen Entfremdung - eine der h\u00e4ufigsten Trennungsursachen!<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 class=\"\" id=\"t-1694117205027\">Schaffen Sie Intimit\u00e4t und Offenheit<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>Die wichtigste Ma\u00dfnahme gegen das Mauern ist Vorbeugen: Verbringen Sie regelm\u00e4\u00dfig Zeit mit Ihrem Liebsten, in der Sie es m\u00f6glichst entspannt und sch\u00f6n miteinander haben. Das st\u00e4rkt die emotionale N\u00e4he und bildet die Basis, um sich vertrauensvoll miteinander austauschen zu k\u00f6nnen.<\/p><p><strong>Falls es bei Ihnen bereits \u201eSchweige-Themen\u201c geben sollte, ist nun der Zeitpunkt gekommen, um sie anzusprechen.<\/strong> Schaffen Sie dazu eine angenehme Atmosph\u00e4re und tasten Sie sich behutsam heran, indem Sie erst einmal \u00fcber andere Dinge sprechen, mit denen Sie sich beide wohl f\u00fchlen, und das \u201eSchweige-Thema\u201c nur ganz vorsichtig antippen. Teilen Sie offen mit, dass es f\u00fcr Sie ebenfalls nicht einfach ist, dar\u00fcber zu sprechen - Sie aber der Meinung sind, dass es wichtig w\u00e4re, weil es Sie besch\u00e4ftigt. Bem\u00fchen Sie sich um eine wohlwollende und respektvolle Ausgangssituation.<\/p><p>Trotz der bisherigen Empfehlungen wird sich nicht jeder Streit vermeiden lassen. In der akuten Situation selbst kann Ihnen wieder danach sein, sich sofort zur\u00fcckzuziehen. Was k\u00f6nnen Sie also tun, wenn der Konflikt bereits in vollem Gange ist und Sie in der Hitze des Moments bereits wortlos den Raum verlassen haben?<\/p><p><strong>Versuchen Sie, weiteres Mauern abzuk\u00fcrzen. Das bedeutet: Atmen Sie tief durch und suchen Sie danach wieder das Gespr\u00e4ch. Signalisieren Sie, dass es Ihnen am Herzen liegt, den Konflikt beizulegen.<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc43a43\"><h2 id=\"t-1737411642083\" class=\"\"><strong>Der vierte Reiter: Machtdemonstration<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption tve-image-caption-below\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a714ac431\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><picture decoding=\"async\" class=\"tve_image tcb-moved-image wp-image-48852\" data-id=\"48852\" data-init-width=\"850\" data-init-height=\"483\" title=\"The fourth horseman: A show of force\" data-width=\"755\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192b502fa47\" loading=\"lazy\" data-height=\"429\">\n<source type=\"image\/webp\">\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Sketch of a man setting three aggressive dogs on a woman sitting on the ground\" data-id=\"49037\" width=\"812\" data-init-width=\"850\" height=\"461\" data-init-height=\"483\" src=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Paartherapie-Notfall-Krise-Missbrauch.jpg\" data-width=\"812\" data-css=\"tve-u-18c4476c0b9\" data-height=\"461\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 850 \/ 483;\" class=\"wp-image-49037\" title=\"Contact person for couples therapy in emergencies\">\n<\/picture>\n<\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>Den Begriff \u201eMachtdemonstration\u201c verbinden viele Menschen oft eher mit ihrer Positionierung am Arbeitsplatz und nicht so sehr mit ihrer Partnerschaft. Machtdemonstrationen kommen jedoch auch in vielen Paarbeziehungen vor.<\/p><p>Stellen Sie sich folgendes Beispiel vor:<\/p><p>Lena and Linus are a couple and share a car. Lately, Linus has often taken it without asking, even though Lena would have liked to use it too. Now Linus has tickets for a concert in a remote arena and desperately needs the car to drive there with a friend. Because Lena is angry about the lack of communication over the past few weeks, she retaliates by working late that very day and returning the car late, causing Linus and his friend to miss the concert.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 id=\"t-1694117205029\" class=\"\">Power displays damage the foundation of the relationship.<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>Linus can now interpret this behavior in two ways:<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li>Outwardly directed: \"Lena wants to show that I am dependent on her and that she can determine what I can and cannot do.\"<\/li><\/ul><ul class=\"\"><li>Looking inward: \"Lena doesn't care about my wishes and needs. She doesn't help to fulfill them and even actively gets in their way.\"<\/li><\/ul><p>In both cases, Linus feels powerless. Lena, on the other hand, has demonstrated her power.<\/p><p>Besides such blatant behaviors, many partnerships also exhibit more subtle forms of power displays. A particularly common tactic is the repeated rehashing of long-past misconduct, for example, when one partner repeatedly dredges up the other's past mistakes in discussions. This triggers feelings of guilt in the other partner each time and thus \"manipulates\" the discussion.<\/p><p>Power displays from a partner often cause deep hurt, as they challenge the fundamental principle of an equal relationship. This creates a spiral of mutual power struggles that not infrequently culminates in the ultimate demonstration: an affair. The message to the partner is: \"I don't need you. Your needs for fidelity and honesty are irrelevant to me.\" Ultimately, this often means the end of the relationship.<\/p><p>If you have already experienced infidelity in your relationship, our blog article \" <a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/affaere-verzeihen\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\">Forgiving an Affair<\/a> \" offers concrete help on how to deal with this exceptional situation.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-18870b503c4\"><h3 class=\"\" id=\"t-1701955420765\">Work together to address displays of power.<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>If you notice power struggles arising in your relationship, the golden rule is: address them directly. Explore the reasons for them together.<\/p><p><strong>Perhaps there's a serious worry or a genuine need behind it that your partner doesn't know how else to express. It's also possible that there's lingering resentment about a (past or present) situation in your relationship that hurt (or has hurt) him.<\/strong><\/p><p>Work through these reasons together. This will help you prevent power struggles and return to an equal partnership.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc43a43\"><h2 class=\"\" id=\"t-1737411642084\"><strong>How to prevent a love apocalypse!<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-type=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1886cc3cafa\"><p>From now on, pay close attention to the four horsemen of the apocalypse in your everyday relationships, because they can be the ultimate \"relationship killers\".<\/p><p>Remember: If you encounter some of the horsemen of the apocalypse in your daily life as a couple, your relationship isn't automatically doomed. Becoming more aware and identifying them is already an important step. Together, you can effectively confront each of the apocalyptic horsemen and banish them forever.<\/p><p>If such behaviors continue to occur more frequently despite your serious efforts, this may indicate that there are deeper conflicts in your relationship that you apparently cannot resolve without external support.<\/p><p><strong>Strengthen your relationship by examining the underlying causes more closely. If necessary, seek professional help to prevent further damage.<\/strong><\/p><p>In-person couples counseling or couples therapy (e.g. at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.die-partnerschaftsberater.de\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\">die-partnerschaftsberater.de<\/a> ) or an online program that you can use regardless of time and place may be the next sensible step.<\/p><p><strong>Our recommendation: Get to know the CoupleBalance program for lasting relationship happiness.<\/strong><\/p><p style=\"text-align: center;\" data-css=\"tve-u-18a714cdb04\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paarbalance.de\/en\/online-coaching\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><strong>To the Couple Balance Program \u2192<\/strong><\/a><\/p><p>PaarBalance is the only scientifically verified, interactive online coaching program for improving couple relationships in German-speaking countries, which can also be used by the <em>individual partner .<\/em><\/p><p><strong>This means you can take immediate action and start \u2013 regardless of where your life partner (currently) stands.<\/strong><\/p><p>Through 18 sessions, you will receive proven, scientifically validated tips on how to consistently bid farewell to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and (re)discover more ease, joy of life and sense of togetherness.<\/p><p>All the best on your journey and warmest regards<\/p><p>Yours sincerely, Dr. Judith Gastner &amp; the PaarBalance team<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd5ff\" style=\"\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" style=\"--tve-border-width: 0px; border: none !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd5fe\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd600\"><strong>\u261d\ud83c\udffb <span data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd613\">Related articles on the topic of <\/span><strong><span data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd614\">&nbsp;\"The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse\"<\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/p><\/div>[tcb_post_list query=\"{'paged':1,'filter':'custom','post_type':|{|'post'|}|,'related':|{||}|,'orderby':'date','order':'DESC','posts_per_page':'3','offset':'1','no_posts_text':'There are no posts to display.','exclude_current_post':|{||}|,'queried_object':{'ID':59909,'post_author':'3'},'dynamic_filter':{'category':'category','tag':'tag','author':'author','search':'search'},'sticky':|{||}|,'rules':|{|{'taxonomy':'post','terms':|{|'55027'|}|,'operator':'IN'},{'taxonomy':'post','terms':|{|'46446'|}|,'operator':'IN'},{'taxonomy':'post','terms':|{|'9061'|}|,'operator':'IN'}|}|}\" type=\"list\" columns-d=\"1\" columns-t=\"1\" columns-m=\"1\" vertical-space-d=\"0\" horizontal-space-d=\"30\" ct=\"post_list-43533\" ct-name=\"Image &amp; 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margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45ba9\"] { font-size: 15px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45baa\"] { font-size: 15px !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bab\"] .tcb-button-link { letter-spacing: 2px; background-image: linear-gradient(var(--tcb-local-color-62516,rgb(19,114,211)),var(--tcb-local-color-62516,rgb(19,114,211))); --tve-applied-background-image: linear-gradient(var$(--tcb-local-color-62516,rgb(19,114,211)),var$(--tcb-local-color-62516,rgb(19,114,211))); background-size: auto; background-attachment: scroll; border-radius: 5px; padding: 18px; background-position: 50% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-color: transparent !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bab\"] .tcb-button-link span { color: rgb(255, 255, 255); --tcb-applied-color: #fff; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bab\"] { --tcb-local-color-62516: var(--tcb-color-0) !important; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 10px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bab\"]:hover .tcb-button-link { box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25) 0px 0px 12px 0px !important; --tve-applied-box-shadow: 0px 0px 12px 0px rgba(0,0,0,0.25) !important; background-image: linear-gradient(rgb(255, 107, 13), rgb(255, 107, 13)) !important; background-size: auto !important; background-position: 50% 50% !important; background-attachment: scroll !important; background-repeat: no-repeat !important; --background-image: linear-gradient(rgb(255,107,13),rgb(255,107,13)) !important; --background-size: auto !important; --background-position: 50% 50% !important; --background-attachment: scroll !important; --background-repeat: no-repeat !important; --tve-applied-background-image: linear-gradient(rgb(255,107,13),rgb(255,107,13)) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bac\"] { --tcb-local-color-icon: rgb(255,255,255); --tcb-local-color-var: rgb(255,255,255); --tve-icon-size: 18px; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bad\"] { --g-bold-weight: 600; font-family: \"Noto Sans\" !important; font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bad\"] strong { font-weight: 600 !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bae\"] { --g-regular-weight: 400; --g-bold-weight: 500; font-family: \"Noto Sans\" !important; font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal) !important; font-size: 11px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bae\"] strong { font-weight: 500 !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bad\"] { font-weight: var(--g-bold-weight,bold) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45baf\"] { margin-bottom: 30px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb0\"] { max-width: 30%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb1\"] { max-width: 850px; --tve-alignment: left; float: left; z-index: 3; position: relative; margin: 0px auto 50px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb2\"] { padding-bottom: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.25em !important; font-size: 14px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18ba3c45bb3\"] { max-width: 70%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18c87b5367c\"]::after { clear: both; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d337bc14\"] { width: 80%; margin-bottom: 20px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d337bc15\"] { background-color: var(--tcb-color-8) !important; --background-color: var(--tcb-color-8) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: var$(--tcb-color-8) !important; padding-left: 20px !important; padding-right: 20px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d337bc15\"] { padding-bottom: 10px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d388fa65\"] { padding-bottom: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e62\"] { --g-regular-weight: 400; --g-bold-weight: 700; border-width: medium; border-style: none; border-color: currentcolor; border-image: initial; font-size: var(--tve-font-size,16px); --tve-font-size: 16px; color: var(--tve-color,rgb(127,127,127)); --tve-color: rgb(127,127,127); --tcb-applied-color: rgb(127,127,127); font-weight: var(--tve-font-weight,var(--g-bold-weight,bold)); --tve-font-weight: var(--g-bold-weight,bold); line-height: var(--tve-line-height,1.4em); --tve-line-height: 1.4em; padding: 8px 15px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; background-image: none !important; margin-top: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e62\"]:hover { color: var(--tve-color,var(--tcb-local-color-a027f) ) !important; --tve-color: var(--tcb-local-color-a027f) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-local-color-a027f) !important; text-decoration: var(--tve-text-decoration,underline) !important; --tve-text-decoration: underline !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e62\"].tve-state-expanded { color: var(--tve-color,var(--tcb-local-color-a027f)); --tve-color: var(--tcb-local-color-a027f); --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-local-color-a027f); background-image: linear-gradient(rgb(239, 239, 239), rgb(239, 239, 239)) !important; background-size: auto !important; background-position: 50% 50% !important; background-attachment: scroll !important; background-repeat: no-repeat !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e63\"] { --tve-toc-indent: 15px; max-width: 100%; float: none; --tcb-local-color-f1170: rgba(65,178,233,0.7); position: relative; display: block; overflow: hidden; padding-right: 1px !important; margin: 30px auto 40px !important; --tcb-local-color-a027f: rgba(0,93,255,0.05) !important; --tcb-local-color-21e68: rgb(184,211,255) !important; --tve-applied-max-width: 100% !important; z-index: 3 !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e63\"] .tve-toc-title-icon { color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important; font-size: 15px !important; width: 15px !important; height: 15px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e64\"] { --tve-border-width: 0px; --tve-border-radius: 0px; background-image: none !important; border-radius: 0px !important; border-width: medium !important; border-style: none !important; border-color: currentcolor !important; border-image: initial !important; --tve-applied-border: none !important; --background-image: none !important; --tve-applied-background-image: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] { --tve-font-weight: var(--g-bold-weight,bold); --tve-color: rgb(255,255,255); --tve-applied---tve-color: rgb(255,255,255); --tve-font-size: 16px; border-top-left-radius: 10px; border-top-right-radius: 10px; overflow: hidden; --tve-text-decoration: none; border-bottom-right-radius: 0px !important; border-bottom-left-radius: 0px !important; background-image: linear-gradient(var(--tcb-local-color-a027f),var(--tcb-local-color-a027f)) !important; background-size: auto !important; background-position: 50% 50% !important; background-attachment: scroll !important; background-repeat: no-repeat !important; --tve-applied-background-image: linear-gradient(var$(--tcb-local-color-a027f),var$(--tcb-local-color-a027f)) !important; padding: 17px 15px 12px 5px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; z-index: 3 !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] p, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] li, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] blockquote, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] address, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] .tcb-plain-text, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] label { font-weight: var(--tve-font-weight,var(--g-bold-weight,bold)); font-size: var(--tve-font-size,16px); text-decoration: var(--tve-text-decoration,none); }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] p, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] li, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] blockquote, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] address, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] .tcb-plain-text, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] label, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] h1, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] h2, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] h3, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] h4, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] h5, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] h6 { color: var(--tve-color,rgb(255,255,255)); --tve-applied-color: var$(--tve-color,rgb(255,255,255)); --tcb-applied-color: rgb(255,255,255); }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e66\"] { overflow: visible; padding: 0px 15px 10px 5px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e67\"] { overflow: hidden; border-radius: 0px 0px 12px 12px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e67\"] { background-image: none !important; --background-image: none !important; --tve-applied-background-image: none !important; background-color: rgba(0, 93, 255, 0.05) !important; --background-color: rgba(0,93,255,0.05) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: rgba(0,93,255,0.05) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] > .tve-content-box-background { background-image: none !important; --tve-applied-background-image: none !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"].tve-state-expanded > .tve-content-box-background { background-image: none !important; --tve-applied-background-image: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"].tve-state-expanded { overflow: hidden; --animation-angle: -90deg; border-bottom-right-radius: 10px !important; border-bottom-left-radius: 10px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"]:hover:not(.tve-state-expanded) { border-bottom-right-radius: 0px !important; overflow: hidden !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e68\"] { line-height: 1.2em !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e69\"] .tve_sep { background-image: url(\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg viewBox='0 0 12 2' xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg' transform='rotate(90)'%3E%3Cline x1='0' y1='1' x2='12' y2='1' stroke='rgb(217,217,217)' stroke-dasharray='4' stroke-width='3' \/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\"); --tve-applied-background-image: url(\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg viewBox='0 0 12 2' xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg' transform='rotate(90)'%3E%3Cline x1='0' y1='1' x2='12' y2='1' stroke='rgb(217,217,217)' stroke-dasharray='4' stroke-width='3' \/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\"); background-size: 2px 2px; background-position: center top; width: 2px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"].tve-state-expanded .tve-toc-title-icon { font-size: 15px !important; width: 15px !important; height: 15px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6a\"] { padding: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6b\"] { padding: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6c\"] { padding: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6e\"] { --g-regular-weight: 400; --g-bold-weight: 700; border-width: medium medium 2px; border-style: none none dotted; border-color: currentcolor currentcolor rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.1); border-image: initial; font-size: var(--tve-font-size,16px); --tve-font-size: 16px; color: var(--tve-color,rgb(80,80,80)); --tve-color: rgb(80,80,80); --tcb-applied-color: rgb(80,80,80); font-weight: var(--tve-font-weight,var(--g-regular-weight,normal)); --tve-font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal); line-height: var(--tve-line-height,1.4em); --tve-line-height: 1.4em; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tve-color,rgb(80,80,80)); --tve-applied---tve-color: rgb(80,80,80); padding: 8px 15px !important; background-image: none !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6e\"]:hover { color: var(--tve-color,var(--tcb-local-color-a027f)) !important; --tve-color: var(--tcb-local-color-a027f) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-local-color-a027f) !important; text-decoration: var(--tve-text-decoration,underline) !important; --tve-text-decoration: underline !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6e\"].tve-state-expanded { color: var(--tve-color,var(--tcb-local-color-a027f)); --tve-color: var(--tcb-local-color-a027f); --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-local-color-a027f); border-left-width: medium; border-left-style: none; border-left-color: currentcolor; background-image: linear-gradient(rgb(239, 239, 239), rgb(239, 239, 239)) !important; background-size: auto !important; background-position: 50% 50% !important; background-attachment: scroll !important; background-repeat: no-repeat !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e68\"] { --g-regular-weight: 300; --g-bold-weight: 700; color: var(--tcb-color-7) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-7) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-7) !important; font-family: Mulish !important; font-size: 18px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e68\"] strong { font-weight: 700 !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e65\"] .tve-toc-title-icon { color: var(--tcb-color-7) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-7) !important; font-size: 18px !important; width: 18px !important; height: 18px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e6f\"] { padding-left: 20px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e66\"] > .tve-cb { display: block; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e63\"] > .tve-cb { display: block; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\"] { --g-regular-weight: 300; --g-bold-weight: 700; border-width: medium; border-style: none; border-color: currentcolor; border-image: initial; font-size: var(--tve-font-size,16px); --tve-font-size: 16px; color: var(--tve-color,var(--tcb-color-7)); --tve-color: var(--tcb-color-7); --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-7); font-weight: var(--tve-font-weight,var(--g-regular-weight,normal)); --tve-font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal); line-height: var(--tve-line-height,1.4em); --tve-line-height: 1.4em; --tve-border-width: 0px; --tve-applied-border: none; font-family: var(--tve-font-family,Mulish); --tve-font-family: Mulish; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tve-color,var$(--tcb-color-7)); --tve-applied---tve-color: var$(--tcb-color-7); text-decoration: var(--tve-text-decoration,underline); --tve-text-decoration: underline; padding: 5px 15px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 2px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\"]:hover { color: var(--tve-color,rgb(23,67,120)) !important; --tve-color: rgb(23,67,120) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(23,67,120) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tve-color,rgb(23,67,120)) !important; --tve-applied---tve-color: rgb(23,67,120) !important; font-weight: var(--tve-font-weight,var(--g-regular-weight,normal)) !important; --tve-font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal) !important; text-decoration: var(--tve-text-decoration,underline) !important; --tve-text-decoration: underline !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-191d8a71e71\"].tve-state-expanded { color: var(--tve-color,var(--tcb-local-color-a027f)); --tve-color: var(--tcb-local-color-a027f); --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-local-color-a027f); border-left: 2px solid var(--tcb-local-color-f1170); background-image: linear-gradient(rgb(239, 239, 239), rgb(239, 239, 239)) !important; background-size: auto !important; background-position: 50% 50% !important; background-attachment: scroll !important; background-repeat: no-repeat !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731af\"] { --tve-border-radius: 5px; border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; box-shadow: none; --tve-applied-box-shadow: none; --tve-border-width: 0px; background-color: rgba(0, 93, 255, 0.05) !important; --background-color: rgba(0,93,255,0.05) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: rgba(0,93,255,0.05) !important; border-width: medium !important; border-style: none !important; border-color: currentcolor !important; border-image: initial !important; --tve-applied-border: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b0\"] { max-width: 100%; margin-top: 0px !important; padding: 15px 15px 10px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b1\"] { padding-bottom: 10px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; font-size: 18px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b3\"] { margin-top: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b4\"] { padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b5\"] { line-height: 1.5em !important; padding-top: 6px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b1731b3\"] li { margin-bottom: 10px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b177e0a\"] { width: 30px; --tve-alignment: center; float: none; margin-left: auto !important; margin-right: auto !important; margin-top: 20px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b177e0a\"] img { opacity: 0.7; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd5fe\"] { --tve-border-radius: 5px; border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; box-shadow: none; --tve-applied-box-shadow: none; --tve-border-width: 0px; background-color: rgba(0, 93, 255, 0.05) !important; --background-color: rgba(0,93,255,0.05) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: rgba(0,93,255,0.05) !important; border-width: medium !important; border-style: none !important; border-color: currentcolor !important; border-image: initial !important; --tve-applied-border: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd5ff\"] { margin-top: 0px !important; padding: 15px 15px 10px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; z-index: 10 !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd600\"] { padding-bottom: 10px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; font-size: 18px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(100% + 0px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+2) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+2)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n) { margin-right: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"] { border-radius: 0px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd603\"] { max-width: 17.1992%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd604\"] { max-width: 82.7976%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd605\"] { margin-left: -30px !important; padding: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd606\"] { margin: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd605\"] > .tcb-flex-col { padding-left: 30px; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list .post-wrapper { border-bottom-width: medium; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-color: currentcolor; border-top-width: medium; border-top-style: none; border-top-color: currentcolor; --tve-border-width: 0px; padding: 5px 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list .post-wrapper:hover { background-color: rgba(183, 183, 183, 0.05) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list .post-wrapper::after { background-attachment: scroll; background-image: none; background-position: 0% 0%; background-repeat: repeat; background-size: auto; background-color: rgba(183, 183, 183, 0.05) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] { --tve-font-size: 14px; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 15px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd609\"] { border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; --tve-border-radius: 5px; background-image: url(\"[tcb_featured_image_url size=medium]\") !important; --background-image: url(\"[tcb_featured_image_url size=medium]\") !important; --tve-applied-background-image: none !important; background-size: cover !important; background-position: 50% 50% !important; background-attachment: scroll !important; background-repeat: no-repeat !important; --background-size: cover !important; --background-position: 50% 50% !important; --background-attachment: scroll !important; --background-repeat: no-repeat !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd60a\"] { width: 230px; float: none; max-width: 105px; margin: 0px auto !important; padding: 0px !important; --tve-applied-max-width: 79% !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list .thrv-content-box [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd60b\"] { height: 105px !important; --tve-applied-height: 105px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd60a\"]:hover [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd609\"] { background-image: url(\"[tcb_featured_image_url size=medium]\") !important; background-size: cover !important; background-position: 50% 50% !important; background-attachment: scroll !important; background-repeat: no-repeat !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] p, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] a, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] ul, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] ul > li, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] ol, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] ol > li, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] h1, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] h2, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] h3, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] h4, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] h5, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] h6, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] blockquote > p, :not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd607\"] pre { font-size: var(--tve-font-size,14px); }[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd60e\"] { justify-content: flex-start !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n)) { margin-right: 30px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd387e\"] { --tve-border-radius: 214px; border-radius: 214px; overflow: hidden; width: 45px; position: absolute; top: 8px; left: 0px; margin-top: 5px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3880\"] { --g-regular-weight: 300; --g-bold-weight: 700; font-size: 12px !important; color: var(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; font-family: Mulish !important; font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3881\"] { text-decoration-line: none !important; text-decoration-thickness: initial !important; text-decoration-style: initial !important; --eff: none !important; text-decoration-color: var(--eff-color,currentColor) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3882\"] { padding-bottom: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; padding-top: 2px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3883\"] { padding-left: 54px !important; margin-top: 7px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3884\"] { padding-left: 54px !important; padding-top: 1px !important; margin-top: -2px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3885\"] { --tve-border-radius: 5px; border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; background-color: transparent !important; --background-color: transparent !important; --tve-applied-background-color: transparent !important; justify-content: center !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3886\"] { margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; padding: 0px 10px 10px 15px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3887\"] { text-shadow: none; --tve-applied-text-shadow: none; --g-regular-weight: 300; --g-bold-weight: 700; font-size: 14px !important; color: var(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; line-height: 1.75em !important; font-family: Mulish !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3888\"] { --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3889\"] { --g-regular-weight: 300; --g-bold-weight: 700; font-weight: var(--g-bold-weight,bold) !important; font-family: Mulish !important; text-decoration-line: none !important; text-decoration-thickness: initial !important; text-decoration-style: initial !important; text-decoration-color: var(--tcb-text-decoration-color,initial) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388a\"] { color: var(--tcb-skin-color-0) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-0) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-0) !important; font-size: 14px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388b\"] { font-weight: var(--g-bold-weight,bold) !important; box-shadow: none !important; border-bottom-width: medium !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-bottom-color: currentcolor !important; background: none !important; text-decoration: none !important; transition: none !important; padding-left: 0px !important; --eff: none !important; --tve-applied-box-shadow: none !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388b\"]:hover { text-decoration: none !important; background: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; --tve-applied-box-shadow: none !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388c\"] { text-shadow: none; --tve-applied-text-shadow: none; --g-regular-weight: 300; --g-bold-weight: 700; font-size: 14px !important; color: var(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; line-height: 1.75em !important; font-family: Mulish !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388d\"] { max-width: 50%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388e\"] { background-color: rgb(248, 248, 248) !important; --background-color: rgb(248,248,248) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: rgb(248,248,248) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388f\"] { --tve-border-radius: 5px; border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; background-color: rgb(248, 248, 248) !important; --background-color: rgb(248,248,248) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: rgb(248,248,248) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd388c\"] strong { font-weight: 700 !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3890\"] { margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; padding: 5px 10px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3891\"] { padding-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3892\"] { max-width: unset; --tve-border-top-left-radius: 5px; border-top-left-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; --tve-border-top-right-radius: 5px; border-top-right-radius: 5px; --tve-applied-max-width: unset !important; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; background-color: var(--tcb-color-8) !important; --background-color: var(--tcb-color-8) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: var$(--tcb-color-8) !important; margin-right: 20px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3893\"] { max-width: 50%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3894\"] { --tve-border-radius: 5px; border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; background-color: transparent !important; --background-color: transparent !important; --tve-applied-background-color: transparent !important; padding-top: 0px !important; justify-content: center !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3895\"] .tve_sep { width: 100%; border-width: 2px !important; border-color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3895\"] { max-width: unset; --tve-applied-max-width: unset !important; padding-top: 15px !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3896\"] .tve_sep { width: 100%; border-width: 2px !important; border-color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd3896\"] { padding-top: 15px !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53e9\"] { --g-regular-weight: 300; --g-bold-weight: 700; font-size: 12px !important; color: var(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; font-family: Mulish !important; font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53ea\"] { font-size: 25px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 25px; height: 25px; --tcb-local-color-icon: var(--tcb-color-2); --tcb-local-color-var: var$(--tcb-color-2); --tve-icon-size: 25px; border-width: medium; border-style: none; border-color: currentcolor; border-image: initial; border-radius: 0px; --tve-applied-border: none; background-size: auto; background-attachment: scroll, scroll, scroll; background-position: 50% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; padding: 0px !important; background-image: none !important; --tve-applied-background-image: none !important; --background-image: none !important; background-color: transparent !important; --background-color: transparent !important; --tve-applied-background-color: transparent !important; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53ea\"] > :first-child { color: var(--tcb-color-2); --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-2); }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53eb\"] { --tve-border-radius: 100px; border-radius: 100px; overflow: hidden; background-color: var(--tcb-color-6) !important; --background-color: var(--tcb-color-6) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: var$(--tcb-color-6) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53ec\"] { float: left; z-index: 3; position: relative; --tve-alignment: left; max-width: 60px; padding: 10px !important; margin: 0px auto 0px 6px !important; --tve-applied-max-width: 60px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53ed\"] { min-height: 25px !important; --tve-applied-min-height: 25px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53ee\"] { max-width: 15%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53ef\"] { max-width: 84.9991%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f0\"] { --tve-border-radius: 5px; border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; margin-top: 10px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; background-color: rgb(248, 248, 248) !important; --background-color: rgb(248,248,248) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: rgb(248,248,248) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f1\"] { padding-left: 10px !important; padding-top: 1px !important; margin-top: -2px !important; padding-bottom: 1px !important; margin-bottom: 5px !important; margin-left: 10px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f2\"] > .tcb-flex-col { padding-left: 0px; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f2\"] { margin-left: 0px !important; padding-top: 10px !important; padding-bottom: 10px !important; padding-left: 10px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f3\"]::after { clear: both; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f4\"] { justify-content: center !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f5\"] { --tve-border-radius: 5px; border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; background-color: transparent !important; --background-color: transparent !important; --tve-applied-background-color: transparent !important; padding-top: 0px !important; justify-content: flex-start !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f6\"] { max-width: unset; --tve-border-bottom-right-radius: 5px; border-bottom-right-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; --tve-border-bottom-left-radius: 5px; border-bottom-left-radius: 5px; --tve-applied-max-width: unset !important; margin-top: 0px !important; background-color: var(--tcb-color-8) !important; --background-color: var(--tcb-color-8) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: var$(--tcb-color-8) !important; margin-right: 20px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f7\"] { text-shadow: none; --tve-applied-text-shadow: none; --g-regular-weight: 300; --g-bold-weight: 700; font-size: 14px !important; color: var(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; line-height: 1.75em !important; font-family: Mulish !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f8\"] { --tve-border-radius: 5px; border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; background-color: rgb(248, 248, 248) !important; --background-color: rgb(248,248,248) !important; --tve-applied-background-color: rgb(248,248,248) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f9\"] { max-width: 50%; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53f7\"] strong { font-weight: 700 !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53fa\"] { margin-top: 10px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; padding: 5px 10px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53fb\"] { font-size: 22px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 22px; height: 22px; --tcb-local-color-icon: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tcb-local-color-var: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tve-icon-size: 22px; float: left; z-index: 3; position: relative; --tve-alignment: left; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53fc\"] { max-width: 20%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53fd\"]::after { clear: both; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53fe\"] { max-width: 20%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53ff\"] { max-width: 20%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5400\"] { max-width: 20%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5401\"] { max-width: 20%; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5402\"] { max-width: unset; --tve-applied-max-width: unset !important; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 5px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5403\"] { padding-top: 3px !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5404\"] { padding-left: 10px !important; padding-top: 2px !important; margin-top: -2px !important; padding-bottom: 5px !important; margin-left: 10px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5405\"] { font-size: 22px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 22px; height: 22px; --tcb-local-color-icon: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tcb-local-color-var: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tve-icon-size: 22px; float: left; z-index: 3; position: relative; --tve-alignment: left; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5405\"]:hover { --tcb-local-color-icon: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tcb-local-color-var: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5405\"]:hover > :first-child { color: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5406\"] { font-size: 22px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 22px; height: 22px; --tcb-local-color-icon: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tcb-local-color-var: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tve-icon-size: 22px; float: left; z-index: 3; position: relative; --tve-alignment: left; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5406\"]:hover { --tcb-local-color-icon: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tcb-local-color-var: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5406\"]:hover > :first-child { color: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5407\"] { font-size: 22px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 22px; height: 22px; --tcb-local-color-icon: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tcb-local-color-var: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tve-icon-size: 22px; float: left; z-index: 3; position: relative; --tve-alignment: left; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5407\"]:hover { --tcb-local-color-icon: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tcb-local-color-var: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5407\"]:hover > :first-child { color: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5408\"] { font-size: 22px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 22px; height: 22px; --tcb-local-color-icon: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tcb-local-color-var: rgba(10,10,10,0.85); --tve-icon-size: 22px; float: left; z-index: 3; position: relative; --tve-alignment: left; margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5408\"]:hover { --tcb-local-color-icon: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tcb-local-color-var: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5408\"]:hover > :first-child { color: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53fb\"]:hover { --tcb-local-color-icon: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tcb-local-color-var: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd53fb\"]:hover > :first-child { color: var(--tcb-color-2) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-color-2) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd5409\"] { --g-regular-weight: 300; --g-bold-weight: 700; font-size: 14px !important; color: var(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; --tve-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-5) !important; font-family: Mulish !important; font-weight: var(--g-regular-weight,normal) !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd540a\"] { padding-top: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd540b\"] { margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd540c\"] { --tve-border-radius: 5px; border-radius: 5px; overflow: hidden; background-color: transparent !important; --background-color: transparent !important; --tve-applied-background-color: transparent !important; justify-content: center !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd540d\"] { padding-bottom: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; padding-top: 2px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192dfdd540e\"] { max-width: 50%; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1928b2bd601\"].tcb-post-list [data-css=\"tve-u-19485e565fd\"] { font-size: 16px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d3\"] .tcb-button-link { letter-spacing: 2px; background-image: linear-gradient(var(--tcb-local-color-62516,rgb(19,114,211)),var(--tcb-local-color-62516,rgb(19,114,211))); --tve-applied-background-image: linear-gradient(var$(--tcb-local-color-62516,rgb(19,114,211)),var$(--tcb-local-color-62516,rgb(19,114,211))); background-size: auto; background-attachment: scroll; border-radius: 5px; padding: 18px; background-position: 50% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-color: transparent !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d3\"] .tcb-button-link span { color: rgb(255, 255, 255); --tcb-applied-color: #fff; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d3\"] { --tcb-local-color-62516: var(--tcb-color-0) !important; margin-bottom: 5px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1981a1bb7d5\"] { --g-regular-weight: 300; 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